


Lavender Moon

by PeachGlitch



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Eventual Romance, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2019-10-08 13:21:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17387147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachGlitch/pseuds/PeachGlitch
Summary: Zelda and Lilith struggle with their emotions when it comes to each other.





	1. Secrets Like These

**Author's Note:**

> For now Zelda is unaware of Ms.Wardwell's true identity.
> 
> The title is taken from the song Lavender Moon by Haroula Rose, which gives me Zelda/Lilith angsty vibes whenever I hear it.
> 
> And the rating of this story will be going up as more chapters are added.

Scared of yourself,  
and what you might say.  
You're as sick as your secrets. 

________________________

“I’ve brought us some lunch,” Sabrina announces as she walks into the kitchen carrying two brown paper bags with her. 

Zelda feels her heart tighten in her chest as she places the newspaper she’d been reading flat down on the table. As of late she felt herself and Sabrina drifting further and further away from each other. There was a time her niece had been a burst of noise and colour that punctured through her self imposed solitude. But now as Sabrina was getting older she found that their relationship was not as it once was. And adding to the strain was her new so called mentor, someone who filled Zelda with nothing but smouldering envy and suspicion. 

Smiling tightly, Zelda sits up and rises to her feet in one fluid motion, “I’ll get us some plates,” she says, even as thoughtful as this unexpected gesture was, she would be damned if she’d ever eat out of a paper bag like some ruffian. 

“Oh, Auntie Zee, I didn’t know you were home,” Sabrina says flatly and it stops Zelda in her tracks. 

“Then why did you get us lunch,?” She asks trying to hide the hurt from her face. 

“I’m afraid you misunderstood,” says a voice that grates on every nerve in Zelda’s body, “Sabrina has brought _us_ some lunch,” Ms. Wardwell elaborates as she walks in and removes her leather gloves, motioning with red painted finger nails between herself and Sabrina, with a knowing smirk. 

Zelda makes a non committal noise in the back of her throat, “I see.”

Every fibre of her being wants to grab the steak knife she knows is in the cupboard behind her and slice Ms. Wardwell’s porcelain neck open, but instead she counts to ten in her head. Something she’s been practising a lot lately after letting her anger get the best of her one to many times. Or more specifically when it came to murdering her sister over the slightest issue. Speaking of which she desperately wishes her sister was here now, at least she would know what to say to ease the tension in the room. She could feel her blood pressure rising each passing second she had to stand there.

“Sorry auntie,” Sabrina says as she places the bags down, “but it’s just mortal junk food,” she glances to her side, “auntie Zelda hates junk food,” she explains to Ms. Wardwell who in turn seems to look her up and down.

Zelda self consciously crosses her arms, “and why exactly are you here today with my niece, Ms. Wardwell?” She’s asks raising her chin defiantly. 

“Aunt Zelda stop it, Ms. Wardwell and I are just having lunch, there’s no sinister plot behind it, why are you always like this?” Sabrina whines and Zelda has to bite the inside of her cheek in case she says something she regrets as she had done the night she told Sabrina not to come crying to her when everything blew up in her face. 

“Now, now, Sabrina, it’s okay, there’s no need to raise your voice,” Ms. Wardwell says as she places a reassuring hand on Sabrina’s back. 

The easy possessive way Ms. Wardwell has taken to being there for Sabrina irks Zelda, it used to be her job. And it makes the hair on the back of her neck stand up when she remembers she had agreed to all of this, only to pacify Sabrina, but now she was beginning to reconsider letting this woman into their lives.

“Enjoy your lunch, I’ll be in the living room if you need anything.” Zelda says impassively and feeling like a stranger in her own home. Her only comfort is seeing the fleeting look of guilt on Sabrina’s face as she walks away.

+

 

The stamping of boots from the hallway startles Zelda awake. The Demonology book she had been studying earlier is lying open across her chest so she quickly picks it up, sits up with a straight back and tries to look as if she’s been reading it the whole time, not dozing off in the middle of the day on the sofa. She expects Sabrina to come in and offer a sheepish apology, one she will pointedly ignore for a few seconds before embracing her niece in a tight hug as she always did in the end.

As she peers over the top of the page she finds herself face to face with someone she definitely didn’t want or expect to see. It’s Ms. Wardwell, alone, carrying a plate in one hand and a cup in the other. 

Her need to remain in control overrides her need to ask where Sabrina had gone, so she turns back to the page ignoring the intrusion. 

“Sabrina really didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” the dark haired woman says as she places the plate and cup on the coffee table and takes a seat next to Zelda. 

“My relationship with my niece is of no concern of yours,” she simply replies in a clipped tone and turns a page in the book, not even looking at her.

“Be that as it may, she insisted I try to smoothe things over with you,” Ms. Wardwell carries on and although Zelda refuses to look away from the book in her hands she knows the woman is staring at her intently with those big blue eyes 

“So I’ve saved half my lunch for you,” she says, “and I was hoping we could talk for Sabrina's sake at least.”

“I am not a child,” Zelda seethes as she continues to stare at the words in front of her instead of Ms. Wardwell, “and you don’t get to lecture me about my own family and what’s best for them.” 

For the first time she brings the book down only to look down her nose at the food on the table, “so I suggest you take your leftovers and leave, you can tell Sabrina that we talked if it makes you feel better, but I have no intention of wasting any more of my time with you.”

She waits for Ms. Wardwell to retreat, but instead the school teacher reaches over to place a gentle hand on her shoulder, “why do you dislike me so much?” she asks in a velvety tone, “do I threaten you?” 

Zelda can’t help but laugh, “and why in Satan’s name would you be a threat to me? You are an excommunicated witch who spends her unfulfilled days in a mortal school!” She mocks and rolls her shoulder to try and get Ms. Wardwell’s hand off of her.

“True,” she replies and as she does Zelda feels the hand tighten almost painfully on her shoulder, “but that’s not what I meant,” she says with a sickly sweet smile, her bright red lips stretch over dazzling white teeth and Zelda is momentarily transfixed. 

“What I meant was do you dislike me so much because you think I’m going to take away the closest thing you’ve ever had to a child of your own?” 

“How dare you!” Zelda blinks away tears furiously before standing up, the book that was on her lap falls to the ground with a thump.

“I’m right though aren’t I?” Ms. Wardwell continues from where she’s still sitting and crosses her legs, her skirt hikes up slightly and reveals an expanse of a stocking clad thigh. “You see Sabrina as the daughter you never had, and now she’s relying more on my guidance you can’t stand it.”

“Get out of my home!” Zelda snaps and points towards the door, she refuses to look at Ms Wardwell, not trusting her own reaction. She feels as if she could kill the woman or burst into tears and she wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction of either.

“I apologise if my abruptness has hit a nerve,” Ms. Wardwell says as she slowly gets up from the sofa but Zelda still refuses to look in her direction.

“But this is exactly why you need to talk to me, or this festering resentment will only get worse, and we both know that would be detrimental to your relationship with Sabrina, ecpecially as she trusts me more than anyone.” 

Zelda doesn’t know what gets to her the most, the patronising tone she uses or how she seems to think she has any idea what she’s talking about. But before she has a chance to respond Ms. Wardwell has taken a step forward and speaks again, “I wish you would trust me as well, we could be such good _friends_.” 

Her words make Zelda hesitate and she searches the woman’s eyes for any sign that this is a trap. She flexes her fingers, itching for the pack of cigarettes she left in the kitchen, “I don’t need anymore friends,” the word makes her grimace, truth be told she didn’t really have anyone she considered an actual friend. Perhaps back in her Academy days she’d been popular amongst other witches, but those days were long gone. Now she rarely socialised with anyone outside or her family.

She takes a step to the side and motions with her hand towards the door, "if you’re quite done with this tiresome charade, please leave while you have the chance.”

Ms. Wardwell sighs and then drops her hand in defeat, “maybe I should of been more clear,” she says lowering her tone dangerously, “I _could_ be your friend because trust me you don’t want me as an enemy, darling.”

The statement makes Zelda’s eyes widen for a minute and then brings up a tight squeeze behind her sternum that she gets every time she feels at a loss. She’s not sure what stops her from hexing the woman into oblivion, but something does, “if you think I’m afraid of a witch like you, then you truly have underestimated me.” 

This time it’s Zelda who takes a step into Ms. Wardwell’s personal space, even in her heels the brunette is a fraction shorter than her and the height difference as small as it is gives her an advantage, “now **get** _out_ ,” she hisses with venom.

“Very well I’ll leave,” she starts to walk around Zelda who makes a point of following her, “for now,” she adds with a wink before heading towards the door. 

Zelda finally starts to relax and her shoulders slouch slightly, she wishes this triumph felt more satisfying. 

As she reaches the threshold of the door Ms. Wardwell stops and looks over her shoulder to once again look Zelda up and down as she had done earlier, “Oh and don’t worry, I’d never underestimate you, _Zelda_ ,” she says and let’s each syllable of her name drag, then smiles with a toothy grin before finally leaving.

 _8, 9, 10..._

Zelda finishes counting in her head until she's once again alone in the room before turning her attention towards the plate of food left behind by the school teacher. Her lips curl in disgust and she bends to pick up the offending objects. As she does a slip of paper falls from under the plate so she instinctively catches it before it lands on the floor. Auburn brows knit as she stands up straight again and unfolds it.

_-As much as I admire your figure, even you Zelda Spellman can't deny the occasional binge, enjoy the burger. ;)  
xox_

Green eyes blink a few times, as if not believing the audacity of the words in front of her, she has half a mind to storm after the woman and shove the note down her throat. 

Instead she scrunches it up angrily and throws it into the unlit fire place.

+

 

For two whole weeks Zelda doesn't see or hear from Ms. Wardwell, which in itself was a blessing from Satan, but also unusual. Even if she was avoiding her since their last encounter, it didn't make sense that Sabrina wasn't mentioning the woman as she constantly did those days. Not that Zelda was bothered by it, no she couldn't care less about Ms. Wardwell, or at least that's what she keeps telling herself.

No, she definitely wasn't wondering more and more about the whereabouts of the irritating teacher, and if she did spare her a thought here and there it was due to boredom, or maybe even a spell had been placed on her. When she'd gone to get rid of the food left behind for her she may or may not have taken a few bites of the burger and it could of been cursed by the other woman; she was after all unhinged.

At first it's subtle, the lingering thoughts in the back of her mind and the way she brushes them off as idle thinking. Three times over the last couple of weeks she's had to stop herself from asking Sabrina about her school teacher.

And twice she'd caught herself thinking about the extended lines of the other woman's thighs as she'd crossed her legs sitting down the last time they'd spoken.

Honestly, it was beneath her, and she wrote it off as basic aesthetic appreciation. The brunette, for all her faults, did have an excellent fashion sense, even if it was borderline inappropriate.

And that was it; nothing more and nothing less.

She hated the woman and no good could come out of her spending so much time with her niece.

And she was reminding herself of exactly that when one day she runs smack straight into someone as she's leaving after dropping something off for Hilda at her work. When she realises who she's bumped into she inwardly damns her sister for making her run this errand in the first place. Once both of them acknowledge each other it's tense, awkward even, and Zelda tries to avoid making eye contact with Ms. Wardwell who in turn is grinning at her like a Cheshire cat.

"Your lipstick's smudged."

Of all the things Zelda had expected her say after so long, that was not one of them. She immediately rubs at the corner of her mouth, until Ms. Wardwell tuts and reaches out with her thumb to the other side and Zelda can't hep but notice how the red nails from two weeks ago are now painted a deep bottle green.

"That's better," she says as she pulls away, "I like the pink by the way, I can't wear that shade because of my complexion." She says as if they are old friends.

Zelda's confusion is at an all time high, but she refuses to be the one to crack, "and it's not really you is it," she remarks and earns a raised brow from her enemy.

"Red is more your colour." she continues and can't help but glance down at the stretch of skin exposed by Ms. Wardwell's low cut blouse. And it's clear when she looks back up the other woman has caught her.

"We could always experiment and try each others," she says without bothering to hide the innuendo behind her words.

And _of course_ it would be just then that Hilda pops her head through the door Zelda has just walked out of.

"Ms. Wardwell! I thought that was you!" she exclaims warmly and Zelda steps back slightly, face flushed and a knot in her stomach she can't explain.

"Sister Hilda, lovely as always to see you," Ms. Wardwell replies and Zelda can't help but roll her eyes at the falseness of her tone.

"C'mon in for a drink, we aren't busy and It's been so long since we last saw you," she smiles kindly, "I was just trying to convince Zelda to stay as well."

"And I told you, Hilda, with my extra responsibility at the Academy I can't waste my time doing trivial activities, we have plenty of time to talk at home."

"Calm down, Zelds, remember your blood pressure," she says unfazed and Zelda feels her cheeks redden, she wishes she'd never told Hilda about that.

"And okay, fine, go do your important duties," she beams with an almost sarcastic twinge, "but make sure you pray to Lilith for some more time, Satan knows we all miss you at home." Hilda rambles on and Zelda doesn't pay much attention to it, she just desperately wants to end this conversation. And she's about to do just that when Ms. Wardwell blurts out, " _Lilith_?" with a curious edge to her tone.

"Surely you know of Lilith, mother of demons," Zelda snaps, "perhaps my sister can verse you on her, no wonder you were excommunicated," she sniffs.

"Oh I certainly do, but aren't prayers usually reserved for The Dark Lord?" she asks quizzically.

"I-

"Oh Zelda prays to him of course, but Lilith is her favourite, isn't she Zelds? Since we were little, you've always saved your special prayers for her," Hilda interrupts before she can explain and she reels in anger as she see's Ms. Wardwell is laughing.

This was enough humiliation from one day.

She feels a hand being placed over her forearm, and now an entirely different expression is on Ms. Wardwells face, "I'm not laughing at you, darling, truly." She says with a rare softness to her, "You just really are full of surprises." 

Zelda narrows her eyes trying to garner what angle Ms. Wardwell was going for this time, but only see's a subtle sadness in her eyes; which leaves her with even more questions.

"Many witches in our coven pray to her, I don't see why it is at all a surprise, perhaps had you done the same you'd still be a part of yours, Ms. Wardwell," she hisses and pulls her arm free then nods towards Hilda.

“As pleasant as this has been," she says sarcastically, "Father Blackwood is expecting me at the Academy," before turning away and walking away as quickly as she can.


	2. Eyes On Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the feedback on the first chapter, they really make my day!
> 
> So this chapter has some brief Faustus/Zelda in it but I promise the endgame is Zelda/Lilith.
> 
> And the title of this chapter is from Eyes on Fire by Blue Foundation. Another great song that I definitely recommend for some Zelda/Lilith feels.

I won't soothe your pain,  
I won't ease your strain,  
You'll be waiting in vain.  
I got nothing for you to gain.

________________________

His hands are wrapped in her hair, they clench convulsively as his hips move faster behind her. She's bent over his desk, face pressed onto the cool mahogany as he thrusts in and out of her almost painfully. As his movements turn frantic, she knows that it's at this moment he always looses himself, "Zelda," he groans, "fuck," and slumps as he spills into her.

After a few seconds he releases her hair and pulls away, leaving her unsatisfied as usual. During the early days of their routine, her pleasure had been just as important as his, but after a few weeks the novelty seemed to of worn off, and Faustus's only concern was his own desires. The only reason she keeps coming back to him is because it's everything she ever wanted. The High Priest was known for his dalliances with many witches, usually much younger than himself, the fact that he'd even considered her as a concubine was shocking; she wasn't worthy and yet here she was pulling her navy pencil skirt back down over her hips in his office, ignoring the stickiness between her legs.

Zelda has never been one to indulge in romance. Intimacy and sweet nothings have always seemed like a waste of time to her. There was only the here and the now and the security of knowing ones place in the world. Hers was worshipping Satan and in turn Faustus who was the closest to him in this mortal realm.

After she's finished adjusting herself, she waits until he has done the same. When he does he takes her hand and pulls her against his chest, his hand's are warm on her back as they stroke soothingly. She closes her eyes and sighs, to any one else this was a loving embrace, but it was his way of telling her that it was time for the next part of their tryst.

"Take it off and bend back on the desk," he orders as he pulls away and slaps her lightly on the backass, "we shall cleanse ourselves of this sin together, " Zelda nods as she begins to unbutton her vintage blouse. Once she's completely bare from the waist up, she moves back to to desk, only glancing briefly over her shoulder to see Faustus reach towards his cat of nine tails.

+

Zelda flicks the end of her cigarette onto the ground as she approaches the bottom steps of the mortuary. It's dark even though it's just past five in the afternoon, just another reality of living in a town that seems perpetually stuck in October. She rolls her shoulders as she prepares for the endless questions Hilda will undoubtedly have for her, but she needs to get inside and into a bath. She's sure Faustus got carried away and used his whip for far longer than usual on her back, but she wont think about that now; she just wants to relax and switch off for the evening.

"That really is a vile habit, but I suppose we all have our vices," says a silky voice from the shadows that startles her for a second, until she realises who it is.

"What the hell are you doing lurking outside my home?" she barks angrily, not in the mood for whatever Ms. Wardwell has in mind.

"Well I've just been visiting Sabrina, and was leaving when I saw you and I knew you'd be upset if I didn't say hello," she replies sarcastically with a wink and steps forward. 

Zelda narrows her eyes and is almost pulled in, "you've said hello, now good bye, Ms. Wardwell," she says pointedly and turns to carry on walking up the steps.

As she does Ms. Wardwell grabs her wrist to pull her back, which causes her to groan in pain; her fragile body still tender from her afternoon with Faustus.

"Have you hurt yourself?" Ms. Wardwell asks softly and Zelda is surprised to see actual concern on her features, "or has someone else hurt you?" she adds with a frown. 

"Of course not," she says yanking her wrist away, "I'm just sick of you feeling the need to grab me every time you come near me." And it's true, the last few times they've been in each other's presence the brunette had either touched her of grabbed her arm, and it had not gone unnoticed.

"Well you can't blame me," the school teacher say smoothly, "you're always running off when I want to talk to you, but I'm sorry, i'll stop if it makes you uncomfortable," she apologises and Zelda is once again dumbfounded. How could this woman seemingly be a threat one second and then genuine in the next; she can already feel a headache forming as she thinks about it.

"I'm running off because I can't stand you and have no desire to be in your presence," Zelda snaps in disbelief, "I accept , _for now_ , that Sabrina wants you in her life but it doesn't mean you can force yourself into mine."

She's always assumed that Ms. Wardwell held some semblance of control, her cool exterior and sometimes flirtatious nature never seemed to be fazed by anything she had said to her in the past. But the woman standing before now is almost trembling in anger, like a flip had been switched inside of her. Zelda takes a step back and calculates her escape routes, she doesn't really think that Ms. Wardwell would hurt her, but she decides to remain cautious.

"I've warned you before, Zelda," she snarls with wide furious eyes, " you don't want me as an enemy, I thought we had an understanding."

She's so close now that Zelda can smell her perfume, something musky yet sweet and she shivers involuntary, "what are you going to do?" Zelda hisses unable to stop herself even if it was foolish of her, "harm me? Kill me," she chuckles under her breath, "do you really think my family will welcome you with open arms then?" she keeps her tone low and deliberately calm.

"Are you so sure of your family's loyalty?" Ms. Wardwell counters with a sly smile. 

And there it is, one of Zelda's deepest fears and insecurities brought to light and it hurts her to even think about it.

"My family love me and-"

Ms. Wardwell cuts her off with a harsh, scornful laugh, "and what Zelda? Don't lie, you may love them and they may love you but we both know that deep down you're frightened that one day they will see how weak you really are and stop." Blue eyes drill into her own green ones and Zelda is horrified to feel tears falling down her cheeks.

She's about to wipe them away when the brunette's hand reaches for her face, and she tries not to jerk away as she strokes a finger along her jaw, "but that's what's just so intriguing about you," she says quietly, the harshness all but gone, "you think your weaknesses will be your downfall, when in reality they are what make you strong and so lovable, if you just opened your heart."

"You said you'd stop touching me," Zelda whispers and the hand on her cheek immediately drops.

"And there's that wall," Ms. Wardwell replies while placing her hands in the pockets of her obviously designer coat, "but I mean it, Zelda, as much as I enjoy this game of ours, you are not my priority here, and if you continue to try to stop me I will take action, even if it pains me to do so." 

Her words make no sense to Zelda and she frowns, "what does that even mean?" she sniffs.

“Maybe one day I can tell you, but not today," Ms. Wardwell answers before turning away and this time it’s Zelda who grabs the brunettes arm.

“Stop you from doing what?” She asks, and is surprised when the usual upfront woman doesn’t even turn back to look at her. 

“I told you I can’t tell you,” she says before adding, “I _won’t_ tell you, just trust me that it’s for the best.”

Zelda squeezes her arm and yanks her closer, “I will never trust you,” she says before letting go.

+

Three days later, Zelda is enjoying a quiet morning at home with her family- apart from Ambrose who was probably still asleep, when Sabrina makes and announcement that causes her to almost choke on her coffee.

"Why on _earth_ would you do that?!"

Zelda can't believe her ears, her hands shake as she lights a cigarette and takes a deep drag and then exhales smoke through her nostrils, "I mean it's insanity, it's, it's-

"it's a great idea, Sabrina," Hilda interrupts as she places french toast in front of the youngest member of their family. Zelda narrows her eyes and takes another drag, "stop encouraging her, Hilda, this is ridiculous," she snaps and pushes the plate her sister places in front of her away.

"Please Auntie, I really want you two to get along," Sabrina insists before taking a bite of her breakfast, "besides I've already told her your going."

"Tell me Sabrina, what part of me having dinner with Ms. Wardwell do you think is a good idea?" she asks but before Sabrina can answer she holds up a hand, stands and stubs out her cigarette in an ashtray, "never mind it's never going to happen."

"I don't see why not," Sabrina argues, "you both mean so much to me and I just want you to see she's not as bad as you make out."

Zelda quirks an eyebrow just slightly, "no," she simply says and then turns to Hilda, "I'll be at the academy for most of the day, don't wait up."

"What, with Blackwood?" Sabrina mumbles bitterly under her breath and Zelda stops in her tracks, "if you're referring to _father_ Blackwood, the High Priest, then yes of course he will be there," she says and clasps her hands in front of herself, "as should you, instead of concocting ludicrous plans here." 

"STOP IT." Hilda shouts and walks right up to her.

“You're going to that meal, Zelda," she exclaims sternly, "because I don’t see why you can’t get along with Ms. Wardwell like the rest of us ...

...now how about a lovely pot of tea to start our day?" she smiles brightly at both of them and Zelda just stands there. Hilda's outbursts as rare as they are were a thing to behold, "Zelda more coffee for you before you go?" she asks with a cheerful smile.

Seconds pass until Zelda finally cracks, "fine, but I can't promise she wont end up in the kane pit, and no thank you, _Hilda_ , I'm far to busy, " she says before heading out, leaving Hilda and Sabrina to smile to each other knowingly.

+

She’s already smoking her second cigarette and more importantly she’s already regretting being pushed into this ridiculous situation. The crisp cold air which she’s sure has already turned the end of her nose red doesn’t help matters nor does the fact that Ms. Wardwell is late. It shouldn’t surprise her really, the woman has no sense of decency or respect for anyone but herself. Zelda tells herself that once she’s finished this cigarette she will go home and tell her family this is exactly why she was right about the brunette. 

The sound of heels crunching against fallen leaves grabs her attention and she’s immediately faced with the woman who is the cause of most of her problems these days. 

“You’re late,” she points out a matter of factly and takes another drag. 

Ms. Wardwell places her right hand on her chest dramatically and it makes Zelda roll her eyes. 

“I’m so sorry, I couldn’t decide what to wear, I’ve heard this place can be quite particular,” she replies looking at the restaurant behind them and then back at her. 

Zelda frowns, she doesn’t understand why this woman would even care, she always dressed impeccably on a daily basis anyway ; a thought she quickly dismisses. 

She looks the brunette up and down and can’t really say she looks different to usual, a black fur coat covers most of her outfit and her hair and makeup are as dramatic as always with and edge of old Hollywood glamour. 

“We both know that this whole thing is a farce, so let’s just get it over with,” she says and drops her cigarette to the ground then stomps on it with her jimmy choo heels. 

She heads towards the entrance and is about to open the door when Ms. Wardwell appears from seemingly no where to open the door for her, “after you,” she says coyly and Zelda frowns yet again before allowing the woman to hold the door open for her and enters the establishment. 

Once they are in and seated Zelda’s stomach starts to knot. They’ve been given a window seat facing each other and the candle on the table between them is far to intimate for her liking. It was Sabrina who picked this place and she’d hope for something not as , well just not like this; they were only here for her sake after all and to quash this rivalry between them. 

“Zelda?” Ms. Wardwell gets her attention as she looks back at her and realises the waiter is there and probably wants to know what she wants to drink. 

“I’ll have a large glass of Merlot,” she says and the waiter nods then turns to Ms. Wardwell who orders a cocktail.

When the waiter leaves to get their drinks Zelda is suddenly lost for words, and it feels awkward, certainly not something she’s used to feeling.

“You look breathtaking,” Ms. Wardwell says from nowhere and Zelda’s eyes widen and her cheeks flush. She was not naive, she knew when someone was interested and when someone was playing a game. 

“What’s your angle here?” She asks not even bothering to pretend she didn’t know that this was all one big facade. 

For a second she’s sure she sees hurt flicker over Ms. Wardwell’s face, but the waiter comes back with their drinks before she can say anything else.

Zelda takes a big swig of her red wine just as Ms. Wardwell decides to pipe up once again, “I know it’s been a while for both of us but I'm sure compliments are still a very important part of a date.”

The second the words are spoken Zelda nearly spits out her drink, and ends up coughing as she swallows it down the wrong way, “what the hell are you talking about?” She flounders in between coughs. 

Ms. Wardwell looks much to pleased with herself when she replies, “oh come on, Zelda, let’s stop pretending,” she reaches out to place her hand next to hers on the table but doesn’t touch it, “we’re both adults and we both know we are attracted to each other,” she says and Zelda’s face is burning with outrage. 

“Don’t be so ridiculous,” she spits and takes another sip of her wine, “I hate you, and I couldn’t think of anything worse.”

And it’s the truth, she keeps telling herself. There was no way she would ever entertain the idea of anything happening between them; no matter how attractive the other woman was. 

“Why are you denying it?” Ms. Wardwell asks, “I’ve heard the stories about you back in your youth and I've seen the way you look at me,” she says but doesn’t elaborate. 

Zelda is sure she’s referring to her free natured self back then; but everyone grows up. Especially when she had her deceased brothers child to bring up. 

“I came here for Sabrina, nothing else,”

Ms. Wardwell's shoulders slouch slightly and nods, “fine,” she answers and Zelda has to stop herself from feeling disappointed. 

As the dinner goes on and they both order their food the silence between them grows, Zelda can’t help but feel slightly guilty, but she shakes it off and tries to concentrate on her steak instead. 

“Sabrina adores you,” Ms. Wardwell says from no where and it makes Zelda smile sadly. 

“Not so much anymore,” she admits before taking another bite of her meal.

“She speaks about you often, she loves you and your sister more than anyone,” the brunette carries on and it tugs at Zelda’s heart.

“When she was younger I let Hilda do most of the work, she reminded me to much of our brother I couldn’t stand it, but then one day,” she stops speaking and shakes her head.

“Go on,” Ms. Wardwell urges with a smile.

“No, it’s silly,” Zelda dismisses with a wave of her hand but Ms. Wardwell insists again, “please I’d like to hear.”

Zelda sips more wine then nods and continues, “well as gifted as Sabrina is now she was not the most forthcoming when learning how to talk,” she says and looks at Ms. Wardwells face to make sure she was genuinely interested.

“And then one day while Hilda was playing with her and I was reading she said her first words from out of no where, _thelda_ , it wasn’t perfect and the pronunciation was all wrong but I knew what trying to say my name and,” she falters and finishes off her wine in one big gulp, “well let’s just say I knew in that moment I’d never love anyone as much as I love Sabrina,” she admits freely. 

Ms. Wardwell just smiles at her, and Zelda can’t help but smile back. She doesn’t know why she told that story but the memory of it is enough to lift her mood. 

“I’m sorry for what I said that day about you not having your own child,” the school teacher says and for once Zelda believes her, “it’s clear to me that you would of been a wonderful mother.”

Zelda shakes her head, that was one topic she’d rather not think about. 

“Excuse me, I need a cigarette,” she says and fumbles slightly as she makes her way out of the restaurant.

The outside air clears her fuzzy mind, and she’s about to reach into her pocket for her cigarettes when she feels a presence behind her and turns around. 

Two hands cup her cheeks and Zelda doesn’t know what to say. 

“Tell me to stop and I will,” Ms. Wardwell says but she doesn’t reply and after an acceptable amount of time has passed the brunette leans in to bring their lips together. 

And they stay like that for a moment, just kissing out in the open like a pair of teenagers. Zelda was not one to romanticise things but she truly felt as if she’d never been kissed like this before. Her lips part and it’s all the invitation Ms. Wardwell needs to push her tongue into her mouth as things become more heated. 

But when Zelda feels the brunettes hand lower from her face and lightly smooth over the edges of her hips she abruptly pull back, “I can’t do this,” she says breathlessly and pulls away completely. She brings a hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose as she contemplates what’s just happened, “I can’t,” she repeats and backs away. 

“Zelda, wait,” Ms. Wardwell tries but she ignores her. 

“Leave me alone!” She shouts and turns around. 

She knows she was harsh but she can’t comprehend what exactly just happened, it was just a kiss but it felt like so much more. Not to mention she hated the woman and had no reason to want to kiss her in the first place. 

“Look I’m sor-

She begins to say as she turns around to face Ms. Wardwell again but she isn’t there anymore; she’s gone and Zelda is alone.


	3. All Of Nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the late update and thanks again for the lovely feedback! To make up for it I'm going to start taking prompts for this pairing.
> 
> And as always this chapter title is another song title that I feel fits well with the Zelda/Lilith relationship. This time It's All of Nothing by The Birthday Massacre.

I was looking for an ending when I fell into you.  
You were like a dream, cause you never came true.

________________________

Zelda was a woman who was very set in her ways. Each and every aspect of her life was always planned down, it was a long running routine that provided her with a sense of comfort. Even as a child she disliked anything that resembled change, and believed that her life was mapped out and there was no such thing as fate. She had managed to simultaneously remain popular and carry out her studies as it was expected of her during her teenage years at The Academy. And as she grew up this obsessive need for control had only continued to manifest itself within her. Regardless of the chaos others brought to her life, she was always poised and possessed and aloof nature that many didn't understand.

The only time her attitude towards life had been compromised was when her brother had died all those years ago and she was faced with the decision of taking in Sabrina or letting her mother's side of the family take her. At the time she had been courting a male witch from their coven and had every intention of marrying him and having two or three little witches who'd follow in her footsteps and become prodigious witches. Zelda blamed her pride back then when she gave up the life she thought she was supposed to have to raise Sabrina with her sister. After that transgression she made a point to promise herself that she would never fall off her path again; that was until Mary Wardwell had arrived on the scene.

The pit of her stomach drops as she thinks about the woman who had embedded herself in her life as if from nowhere. At first Ms. Wardwell had simply been a nuisance, but as time wore on Zelda had found herself savouring their interactions. It was an addiction she should of never begun to feed and after their dinner, after the _kiss,_ she knew any illusion of control she thought she had was shattered.

"You're back early," Hilda's voice greets her as she walks in through the front door. Zelda grimaces, she had hoped to avoid anyone and just go straight to her room.

"What can I say, the service was fast," she replies coolly as she hangs up her coat.

She can tell that her sister is looking at her with suspicion and dramatically turns to face her, "what, Hilda?"

"Nothing, it's _just_ \- "she falters for a second, but it's enough time for Zelda to realise what she was getting at and she wipes at her face and curses herself for not wearing waterproof mascara. Thankfully Hilda knows her better than anyone and doesn't question her further about her tear stained cheeks, "how about I put the kettle on? Sabrina and Ambrose are out so it's just us, makes a change huh sis?" she says with genuine warmth that Zelda finds herself craving for once.

"That sounds acceptable," she answers and follows her sister into the kitchen.

The familiarity of being in her own home calms her, and she sits down at her usual seat at the head of the table.

And for a while they fall into their usual routine of Hilda making tea as Zelda smokes a cigarette and glances over the same paper she read earlier that day. It's nice to be able to comfortably sit and share the silence for once, and it's not until Hilda brings their cups of tea over that it breaks.

"Ok, so clearly you don't want to talk about it but can you at least tell me that you didn't kill her," Hilda says with concern etched on her soft features. To anyone else it would be an irrational question, but given her homicidal tendencies Zelda supposed Hilda had a point.

"No, Ms. Wardwell is alive and well, Hilda," she sighs as she takes a drag from her cigarette.

"Oh, Praise Satan," Hilda responds clutching her chest, "I'm sorry I had to ask," she says and then takes a sip of her tea.

Then they both remain silent again, until Zelda finishes her cigarette and stumps it out in an ashtray, "thank you for tea, now I'm quite exhausted, good night Hilda," she says as she gets up to leave.

"Please don't torture yourself over this, Ms. Wardwell has good intentions I just know it," Hilda says as she crosses over the door's threshold and it makes her pause.

"Why do you trust her?" she asks not looking back.

"Well she clearly cares about Sabrina almost as much as we do and, _well_ , I can tell she likes us as well, _you_ especially, what more is there to ask for?" she answers.

Zelda thinks about this for a minute but then continues out of the room without replying.

+

"So, are you planning on speaking or are you just going to stand there all day long?" Ms. Wardwell asks but doesn't look up from the mountain of paperwork she was going over. Her dismissive attitude makes Zelda question her decision to come at all, but it was to late to do anything about it now.

"I thought it was best we talk, for Sabrina's sake," she begins after clearing her throat and takes a tentative step into the classroom.

 _That_ gets Ms. Wardwell's attention and she chuckles under her breath, "now doesn't that sound familiar?" she asks rhetorically as she turns over the page of the textbook she was writing in.

Zelda rolls her eyes even though she knows Ms. Wardwell has a point, but she hates feeling like a fool.

"Look I didn't come here to argue I came to talk about the other night," she says quickly and crosses her arms over her chest. 

"What specifically about that night has you feeling so anxious?" The brunette asks sarcastically, still not looking up.

Zelda's heart was pounding heavily in her chest, she has never felt so outraged in her life and even though she knows that this was all game to the other witch, she couldn't help but react.

"Stop treating me like one of the teenagers you teach," she hisses and walks right up to the desk, "I wanted to come here and clear the air so that next time we see each other it isn't awkward but-

"Awkward?" Ms. Wardwell interrupts her and finally looks up from where she's sitting, " _please,_ Zelda, it was _only_ a kiss,"

Seething Zelda's green eyes land on Ms. Wardwell's blue ones, "quite," she says and exhales and unsteady breath, "In that case I'm glad we share the same sentiment, until next time then."

"Wait," Ms. Wardwell says before she has a chance to turn around. At this point Zelda's pride alone was stopping her face from turning red with embarrassment as she stands her ground and tries to remain composed.

"Unless you've had a personality transplant, a witch like you wouldn't come here to explain herself." Ms. Wardwell states while standing up and moving around her desk so she was leaning her weight against the edge of it, "so why are you really here?" Zelda was surprised by the blatant question and frowns as her expression makes the other woman smirk. 

"Regardless of your assumption about me I actually have a sense of decency, unlike you," Zelda replies jaw locked and muscles tight.

Ms. Wardwell looks up to the ceiling and actually laughs out loud, "stop it now, Zelda, we both know that's not why you're here."

Zelda quirks a challenging eyebrow at her, "then please enlighten me on your misguided theory about my presence here." 

Zelda fails to recognise the glint in the other womans eyes and in one fluid motion she finds herself backed up against the wall of the classroom with Ms. Wardwell's body pressed firmly against her own before she whispers right into her ear, "you want me to _fuck_ you."

She barely has any time to realise what's happening, a protest dies on her lips and instead turns into her moan as she feels Ms. Wardwell suck on her neck possessively. A familiar haze falls over Zelda as she greedily let's the other woman take control. A small part of her relishes in the fact that the other woman is so bold as to do this and any anger she feels quickly diminishes and is replaced with a lust she hasn't felt in a while.

"Say it," Ms. Wardwell insists as she pushes a knee in between her legs and Zelda thanks Satan she opted for a pant suit that day over her restricting pencil skirt. She barely recognises the brunette's words as she begins to rub herself against a sold thigh. The friction makes her moan, and she knows she could get off just by humping the other woman's leg, until Ms. Wardwell pulls away slightly and repeats, " _say_ it."

Every fibre of of Zelda wants to refuse her but she knows she's far to gone to pretend, so she groans wantonly, "I want you to fuck me," and she's sure she feels Ms. Wardwell shudder.

Ms Wardwell's tongue traces the hollow of her neck and Zelda finds herself falling backwards to rest her head against the wall behind her.

"You are _such_ a distraction," Ms. Wardwell breaths against her skin, "but I've wanted you from the first moment I met you."

Zelda's brain was overly fuzzy with wanton lust to fully comprehend what she'd just said but finds herself humming in recognition, " _mhmm_ , and I hate you, remember?" she whispers breathlessly even as she's grinding against the school teachers thigh.

"You hate me because I scare you," Ms, Wardwell insists as she moves upwards to Zelda's jaw, and then her cheek, "but let me tell you a secret," she moans breathlessly, " you scare me as well," she says just before she spins Zelda around and holds around her waist from behind with one arm while her other hand finds the top button of her trousers and unfastens it. Zelda makes a needy sound from the back on her throat as she feels Ms Wardwell shove her hand inside the restrictive material and cup her heated flesh through lace underwear. 

The contact makes her head fall back against the other woman's shoulder and she whimpers as she feels Ms. Wardwell's hot puffs of breath next to her ear.

When she feels the brunette's fingers begin to pull at her panties she freezes, "do _not_ rip them they're from Paris," she warns seriously and uses her hands to pull her trousers down for the sake of her expensive underwear.

Ms. Wardwell's chuckle tickles the side of her face, "and you wore them just for little old me," she teases.

Zelda wants to protest, she wants to tell her that regardless of their current positions she _always_ wears expensive underwear but her words are cut short when she suddenly feels the woman's hand inside her underwear and two fingers begin to draw lazy circles around her clit.

She parts her legs as best as she can with her trousers down to her ankles, "I- _oh,_ " Zelda begins but is cut short _again_ , when she feels Ms. Wardwell's fingers enter her as her thumb carries on teasing her bundle of nerves.

It takes Zelda all of her self control not to cry out as she reminds herself they are standing in an empty classroom on a Thursday afternoon. All she can do is bite her bottom lip and buck her hips harder against slender fingers as she feels her orgasm wash over her like a wave.

Once her breathing returns to normal she feels Ms. Wardwell place a soft kiss onto the side of her head before stepping back. Without her body there to anchor her Zelda suddenly feels very wobbly on her feet and uses a near by desk to balance with as she pulls her pant suit back up over her hips.

"Well I can safely say that was far more enjoyable than spending my afternoon marking," Ms. Wardwell says as she grabs a box of tissues and wipes her fingers clean.

"I'm glad I could accommodate," Zelda retorts and moves towards her but is stopped as the other woman raises her hands in front of herself. 

"Don't you want me to reciprocate?" she asks only slightly offend and only because she's used to people giving so they can have an excuse to take. Her relationship, if you could call it that, with Faustus was built on such a routine. Although he only seemed interested in using her body for his own pleasure- _and leaving the pain of punishment_ for her.

"Not today, that was for you," Ms. Wardwell answers before stepping into her personal space again, "besides I doubt I'd have your self control to stay quiet when the tables are turned," she takes another step closer, "especially when you're inside me, darling, so let's save it until we're in a more private setting hmm" she finishes with a wink and a quick peck onto Zelda's slightly agape mouth.

Zelda shudders but composes herself quickly, "and who's to say there will be another opportunity like this?" she says with a raised chin.

"Don't lie to yourself, Zelda it's not very appealing," she says finally and them moves forward so they are kissing again.

Ms. Wardwell didn't just kiss, she took over, and had the bell signalling the start of another lesson not rung, Zelda was sure she would of been coming against her once again in a matter of minutes.

"I meant what I said though," Zelda says as they pull away from each other and she uses her thumb to fix her lipstick.

"Oh, but Zelda, you say so much, you'll have to be more specific than that," the brunette quips, but the smile is soon wiped from her face and is replaced to something akin to hurt, when Zelda replies, "I don't trust you."


	4. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be from Lilith's point of view.
> 
> Chapter title comes from Closer by Kings Of Leon.

Stranded in this spooky town,  
Stoplight is swaying and the phone lines are down,  
Floor is crackling cold.  
She took my heart, I think she took my soul.  
With the moon I run,  
Far from the carnage of the fiery sun.

 

________________________

Lilith decides to avoid any interaction with Zelda for the next few days. Not because she regrets what happened, but because she knows that if she pushes the auburn haired witch to much, then it could jeopardise everything. So her meetings with Sabrina have been exclusively at the book store or at her office in the school. Of course the clued in blonde notices this and asks her whether or not it was because her Aunt was making things difficult, but Lilith had dismissed the accusation and even went as far as to tell Sabrina she ought to treat Zelda with a bit more respect, after all she had sacrificed her own hopes and dreams to raise her as her own. Lilith remembers the swell of disappointment when Sabrina had simply brushed it off, knowing how deep Zelda's love for her niece ran.

It's difficult for her to rationalise to herself why she even cares about Zelda's feelings; being a demon meant that empathy was not an emotion she was accustomed with. But when it came to Zelda all bets were off, so for now Lilith decides to ignore her feelings and just enjoy the moment. After all it wouldn't be forever, once The Dark Lord had another task for her she would leave Greendale and either return to the pit of Hell or begin a new task, in a new form and away from this place as she has done countless times since the beginning of time.

This strategy lasts for a week, until one day she finds herself climbing up the steps outside the Spellmans home towards their front door. She stands there for a minute and listens to the sounds of them all chattering away inside. A lump forms in her throat, even if Sabrina regarded her with some sort of adoration, she knows she'll always be the outsider looking in. What worries her is that she cares at all; the mother of demons shouldn't be pinning over such trivial things. Although the youngest Spellman has always told her just to walk in, Lilith decides to ring the doorbell and after a few seconds is greeted with the person she'd simultaneously been avoiding and dying to see again.

Zelda at home is a flurry of dark blue cashmere and her long hair is perfectly coiffed to one side of her head and tumbles down her left shoulder. As always she's smoking a cigarette and it's held in place by her antique holder. Lilith marvels at the long fingers holding it up and finds herself wondering what those fingers were capable of.

"Sabrina wanted to see me," she hears herself say and notices how for a brief second Zelda's demeanour stiffens but then relaxes again as she takes a drag from her cigarette.

"I know but I wanted to speak with you first," she replies in a low tone before motioning moving towards the door so they are both stood just outside of it. Quietly Zelda clicks the door shut before turning to face her again.

"Won't they wonder what we are doing?" Lilith asks with a raised brow.

Zelda's simply shakes her head, "I told them I wanted to clear the air with you, they have it in their heads that you've been avoiding coming here because of me," she says with a twinge of hurt in her tone, "have you?" she adds before taking another drag of smoke.

"I suppose I have," Lilith muses and raises her hand up to cup the Zelda's cheek, "I wanted to give you some time _and_ you hurt my feelings with your last remark."

Zelda scoffs and bats the hand away from her face, " _please_ spare me the amateur dramatics, we both know that when it comes to this feelings are not part of the equation."

Lilith narrows her eyes but decides not to argue, "perhaps not _but_ ," she leans closer and lowers her tone, "insulting the person who'd just make you come like that wasn't very polite now was it?" and she winks and then watches as the base of Zelda's neck turns red like it always did when she was angry.

"And are you telling me that you always sleep with people you trust _Ms. Wardwell_? Sometimes it's just carnal," she hisses through her teeth.

This gets Lilith's attention, and she makes a mental note to revisit it when they had more time, for now she just grins just to annoy her, "are you just angry because I've not come to see you?" she asks completely changing the subject, "have you been missing me?"

" _No_ ", Zelda spits back without missing a beat.

Lilith tuts under breath and reaches towards the door handle, "fine, then shall I continue to stay away and then let's see how long it takes before you _do_ miss me," she says and pushes the door open to go inside and see Sabrina before Zelda can reply.

+

It takes eight days.

A light streams in through heavy drapes and they are surrounded by books and trinkets on mahogany shelves of the Spellman living room.

Lilith moans loudly and prays to Satan that nobody has come home unexpectedly. The sofa is soft beneath her skin as she thrusts her hips up towards Zelda's accommodating mouth before coming hard and fast against it. 

After letting her ride the aftershocks of the orgasm Zelda finally surfaces and rests her chin on Lilith's right thigh then nudges with her left shoulder at the other leg that is draped unceremoniously over it.

A calmness settles over Lilith as she tries to regulate her breathing, she's aware that she's only wearing her partly buttoned down black silk blouse and she peeks down past her naked thighs to observe Zelda. She smirks and bites her bottom lip as she watches her breathing quietly against her thigh in her white lace bra and pencil skirt.

"Get up here," Lilith says as she reaches with her arms to pull Zelda up off the hard floor until they are both sunk side by side on the sofa with one of Zelda's legs draped over hers.

For once they both seem to be on the same page and avoid speaking, instead they stare off aimlessly.

"What happened to your back?" Lilith's whispers after a long while, as her fingers graze over the raised scars she can feel there. She had noticed them while Zelda was going down on her, but her mind was far to occupied with what the woman's tongue was doing then to raise the question, now the fog of lust was lifted it was replaced by something dangerously close to concern.

"Nothing that I didn't ask for," Zelda replies quietly and to be honest Lilith is surprised she answered at all, she knows the woman was a deep pool of secrets; it was something they both had in common.

Lilith doesn't push for more instead she adjusts herself and leans in closer to capture Zelda's mouth with her own and kiss her deeply. Lilith can taste herself of Zelda's lips and it spikes up her arousal once again. She smiles into the kiss as she feels Zelda's hands tangle themselves in her brunette tresses, her fingers coil around and bring them even closer if that was possible. It's only after a few more blissful seconds that they have to pull back from each other for air.

"What are we doing?" Zelda asks with a frown but with her lipstick smudged and the rest of her makeup covered in a sheen of sweat and auburn hair a mess, it makes her look far less severe.

"Kissing," Lilith teases and it earns her a swat on her arm, but she catches Zelda smiling as well an a thought occurs to her, "that's the first time I've seen you genuinely smile," she blurts out.

Zelda doesn't reply straight away, simply grips Lilith tighter before finally saying, "let's not get sentimental, it's not us."

Lilith nods in agreement then relaxes back against the sofa again, "how long do we have until someone comes back?" she asks with a grin.

"Well let's see, Hilda's at work, Ambrose is making the most of his freedom and Sabrina is in school," she says and glances at her watch, "so i'd say at least two hours, why?"

Instead of answering verbally Lilith takes one of Zelda's hands and moves it down so she's touching herself, "I want to know how long we have to make each other come as many times as possible, "she says and Zelda moans.

They spend the rest of the afternoon rolling around in a heap on the hardwood floor, a tangled mess of limbs and sweat.

+

The next time they see each other is a complete accident.

It's just past dawn and Lilith is on her way to a meeting with Faustus because The Dark Lord had requested so, but instead of going straight to The Academy she's gone to the woods. 

The place is desolate this time of the morning so when she see's a familiar figure in the distance Lilith wants to laugh at the absurdity of it all. Quietly she makes he way over to Zelda who is on her knees picking something and placing it in a wicker basket next to her. The gentle light and the way Zelda has her hair pinned back makes her look softer than usual, "what on earth are you doing?" Lilith asks and smiles as Zelda let's out a startled sound, her eyes dart towards her and she noticeably calms when she realises who is there.

"Stalking me now?" she quips back and wipes at her nose with the back of her hand, it leaves behind a smudge of dirt but Lilith doesn't mention it.

"I'm just taking an early morning stroll, darling, don't flatter yourself," Lilith says but reaches forward with a gloved hand to which Zelda rolls her eyes but then let's her help her up none the less. 

"Really, Zelda, I didn't take you as a jeans and ugly jumper sort of woman," Lilith says as she looks her up and down and marvels how even in an oversized jumper she was sexy as hell.

Zelda blushes but raises her chin, "well that's why I'm out here so early, besides they belong to Hilda and I wasn't about to ruin my designer outfits running errands out here was I!" She barks and speaks quickly clearly embarrassed.

"Calm down, I won't tell anyone, " Lilith says as her thumb draws circles over the back of Zelda's hand that she's still holding, "and again, what exactly are you doing here?" she asks again.

"If you must know I'm collecting some of Sabrina's favourite flowers, they only grow out here " she begins and picks up the basket with her free hand, " I know she's been stressed lately and the smell of them around the house has always calmed her down since she was a toddler."

Lilith's grip tightens around her hand, "so you've been coming here picking flowers for Sabrina since she was little?" she asks.

"Yes I have," Zelda answers before Lilith pulls her closer and kisses her because, well just _because_. 

"If you think anything is going to happen here out in the open, then you can forget it," Zelda says with a scowl when then break apart and Lilith smirks.

"You know I think of you as prim and proper, " she says softly, "but here like this with no makeup, hair up and with mud on your nose, it feels more like the real you."

Her words are out of the blue and far to sweet and familiar for them, but Lilith speaks them anyway; even if she knows she'll regret it later.

"Let me walk you back home," she says before the tension gets to much and Zelda nods at her.

They walk in silence hand in hand through the woods, and Lilith knows she's playing a dangerous game that will only leave the both of them hurt if it carries on. A pang of guilt sweeps over her when she glances over at Zelda who was completely unaware of who she really was. A part of her wants to tell her, but an even bigger part of her knows it was to risky; for so many different reasons.


	5. Smother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, sorry again for the delay in updating this story! I've been so busy these past few weeks. So, I hope you can forgive me yet again and enjoy this latest instalment.
> 
> Chapter title is 'Smother' by Daughter.

In the darkness I will meet my creators,  
And they will all agree, that I'm a suffocator.  
________________________

Of all the things Zelda has ever done she’s sure becoming involved with Mary Wardwell is one of the most reckless. Or maybe just _confusing_ , either way the more she thinks about the woman and the more time they spend together she knows she’s becoming dangerously attached to her and that simply couldn’t happen. Zelda needs the animosity back, she needs to truly despise the brunette just as she had from the start, but even when she tells herself she does, she knows deep down she’s lying to herself.

This thing, whatever it was between them had gotten to comfortable, and it worried her. The hostility of their banter was replaced with something she couldn't describe and even worse than that, Zelda often found herself revealing personal things about herself; secrets that she's never spoken out loud before. Which was stupid for several reasons the main one being that even if she was close to liking her, she definitely didn’t trust Ms. Wardwell. 

Things were changing, and what was once customary was now splintering out of control; and she needed to stop it before it was to late.

"Don't be so dramatic, Zelda," Ms. Wardwell, the very person who was causing of all this internal chaos says and it makes Zelda grit her teeth. They are outside in the street, after meeting up at a secluded cafe on Zelda's insistence, where she'd put an end to - _or at least tried_ \- their relationship, if you could even call it that; Ms. Wardwell on the other hand seemed to have other ideas.

"Stop being petulant," Zelda snarls, deep and desperate, "it's been fun but now it's over, deal with it."

"You're right it _is_ fun, and that’s all it is, you're the one making it into something it's not," Ms. Wardwell insists as the wind howls around them. It had rained in the morning and the pavement is still wet, but the sun was shining in the sky, making everything glisten even though it was crisp and cold out; nothing new for a town like Greendale.

"I'm not making it into anything, I'm simply ending our arrangement and trying to be pleasant about it," Zelda says and flashes her teeth in an attempt to smile but fails miserably. They walk side by side, but then Ms. Wardwell takes a large step forward until she's standing directly in front of Zelda, who in turn huffs in annoyance and crosses her arms.

" _Hey,"_ Ms. Wardwell says softly, which makes Zelda tsk under her breath, "what's going on in your head? Talk to me, tell me what's got you so uptight" she says.

Zelda wants to slap her but knows it's completely unjustifiable and just her usual go to reaction of violence when feeling cornered or exposed in any way. She wants to be cruel, wants to hit on every possible nerve the other woman has, but she finds herself unable to.

"Nothing,” she murmurs and shakes her head “I just don’t know what this is, what are we even doing?” she asks with an embarrassed flush on her cheeks and refuses to look directly at Ms. Wardwell.

Not even a second passes when Zelda feels the space between them close and Ms. Wardwell reaches up to pull her down into a deep kiss. It's takes Zelda by surprise, being kissed out in the open, the sentiment of it makes her melt. Without thinking she uncrosses her arms and finds the other woman's fingers and hooks around them with her own.

"Whatever _we_ want," Ms. Wardell breathes when the finally pull apart.

“How can you be so nonchalant about this?” She asks and brushes her thumb across the top of her hand.

"Because we are simply two grown women, enjoying the pleasure of being together,” Ms. Wardwell replies with a smirk that would once of irritated Zelda but now finds endearing.

“It’s the together part that frightens me,” Zelda admits.

“Don’t be,” Ms. Wardwell whispers and tugs her closer.

Instead of replying Zelda pulls her down a side street, so she can kiss her again without the chance of anyone seeing them.

Nearby the engine of a car idling at the curb sounds as it restarts, the lone figure inside having witnessed the entire exchange.

 

+

"Ah- _Satan_ , fuck."

Hearing the pristine and proud Zelda Spellman curse was something Lilith would never get sick of; especially when it was her fingers making her explicit so vulgarly.

A look of bliss crosses over the witch's face and Lilith knows she's close to the edge, so presses harder on her clit with her thumb as two slender fingers move in and out of her at a faster pace.

She smiles as Zelda arches her back on the bed, and her eyes flutter shut, " _mhmm_ , yes, don't sto-

"Aunt Zelda?!" Sabrina's voice sounds loudly downstairs, "are you home?"

Lilith freezes and watches as content is replaced with blind panic on Zelda's face. She pushes at her shoulder, making Lilith roll off of her and onto her side on the bed.

"Yes, Sabrina, I'll be down now," she shouts back, her voice shaky as she scrambles around picking up her clothes, " _stay_ there I'll be down now," she repeats quickly.

Lilith lounges on the bed and let's her weight rest on her elbows as she watches Zelda, "like _that_ wasn't obvious," she laughs and earns one of her high heels being thrown at her.

" _Shh_ ," she hisses and continues to dress. 

Somehow watching Zelda like this tugs at Lilith's heart strings. The pureness in her voice when she'd just spoken to Sabrina, the way her expression had softened and nothing was more important than going down to see her niece, not even her own pleasure; it makes Lilith smile. So she does as she's told and remains silent until the other woman has composed herself fully.

"You'll have to stay here until Sabrina's gone back out," Zelda says as she turns back to her. They both know that's not true, that she could easily sneak away if Zelda distracted the younger witch.

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere."

 

+

Lilith can feel Sabrina's suspicious gaze on her, but doesn't react.

Hilda is busy with a large slice of the chocolate cake she's made for them all, but looks up and smiles at everyone now and again in between mouthfuls. Her older sister on the other hand hasn't even touched the slice in front of her, instead she smokes and reads an Austrian news paper. Lilith wipes some of the sticky chocolate syrup that's on her fingers with a napkin then scrunchies it up onto her plate.

"That was delicious Sister Hilda," she says as she wipes at the corners of her mouth and uses the back of a spoon to check that her lipstick was still in place.

"Oh, you are more than welcome, makes a change having someone that appreciates my home baking," she says with a sly side eye towards Zelda, but then quickly turns to beam at Sabrina, "apart from you and Ambrose of course, love."

Lilith turns to look at Zelda who's sitting right beside her but her face is masked by the newspaper.

"Aunt Zelda is always eating chocolate when she thinks we aren't looking," Sabrina says trying to get a reaction, but Zelda simple turns the page of her newspaper silently.

"Well you've always had a sweet tooth haven't you Zelds," Hilda responds with a chuckle, "she just doesn't like to admit it," she says and exchanges a knowing look with Sabrina.

"I enjoy everything in moderation," Zelda says firmly from behind he paper.

"Especially after I had to let out the waist of that dress you-

" _Hilda!"_ Zelda snaps and Lilith smirks when her sister covers her mouth mockingly and then mouths ' _I'll tell you later_ ' at her niece.

"Speaking of not admitting things, what's going on with you two?" Sabrina asks from no where which makes Lilith turn her attention away from the blonde haired witch and back towards Sabrina. She takes a large gulp of her tea then smiles as warmly as she can at the teen, "what ever do you mean?" she asks with feigned innocence.

"Don't get me wrong I like getting to see more of you, but this is the third night in a row you've had dinner with us, and _uhm_ , well it's just weird," she says with knitted brows, "and I know you've been hanging around the house with Auntie Zee, as well, and she hates you, so it should be awkward but it's not _so_ what's changed?"

Zelda sighs heavily from behind the newspaper that's still obstructing her face from the rest of them and takes a drag from her cigarette, "we are adults Sabrina, therefore hatred is outweighed by what's important, which in this case is you and what makes you happy," she says.

"Well, see that's strange as well because _you've_ always put The Dark Lord above what makes me happy, so why should this be any different?" Sabrina snaps back and even behind the newspaper Lilith can see that Zelda's whole demeanour stiffens, so she places a warm hand on the top on her skirt covered thigh under the table.

"Sabrina! You can't speak to your Aunt Zelda like that, she loves you and is trying her best," Hilda admonishes her and Lilith is surprised by the reaction. She watches as tears form behind the younger sister's eyes as she glances at Zelda and then back again towards her niece.

"I'm _just saying_ , Aunt Hilda," Sabrina replies with a huff and slumps into her seat with crossed arms.

"It's alright," Zelda says as she places the newspaper down finally, then stumps out her cigarette on the piece of cake on her plate, "I understand your suspicion, your father was exactly the same, but whatever you think of me, never doubt that I will _always_ have your best interest at heart."

Lilith squeezes her knee reassuringly under the table, but Zelda doesn't seem to notice, or she chooses not to react, either way it makes her pull the hand away completely.

"I think I should leave and let you all talk privately, but excuse me while I use your bathroom first," Lilith announces as she pushes her chair back and gets up.

"I'm sorry Ms. Wardwell, please don't go just because of me," Sabrina tries with a guilty expression on her face.

"It's okay, darling, I have things I need to do anyway, enjoy the rest of your meal," she says and taps her shoulder comfortingly, then turns to Hilda, "thank you as always for a lovely dinner, I'll see myself out."

+

She's just done washing her hands when she hears a quiet knock on the bathroom door. Lilith assumes it will be Sabrina wanting to apologise again, or maybe Hilda with kind words of reassurance. What she doesn't expect when she opens the door is for Zelda to be there, and then to be pushed back into the room with a fierce and demanding kiss.

"What's this?" she asks in between kisses and places her hands on either side of Zelda's hips to steady herself.

"I didn't wan't you to leave just like that," Zelda explains which makes Lilith chuckle.

"And you call me sentimental?" she teases as she cranes her neck to give Zelda better access to the expanse skin there, "Sabrina will come around you know" she says out of the blue and instantly regrets it when Zelda stops her movements and pulls away.

"What does _that_ mean?" she asks solemnly.

Rolling her eyes Lilith steps forward to try and bridge the gap between them again but Zelda bats her away with her hands, "stop putting that wall up whenever I try and talk to you," she says but she can already tell that Zelda's mood would not be turning anytime soon.

"Stop trying to get into my head then," she whispers furiously.

" _Darling_ , I don't need to get into your head, I know you better than you know yourself," she spits back and begins to circle Zelda who's expression is distant; but she remains as staunch as ever, "and you know how? Because you're so transparent and you reek of every cliche' going."

"You should _leave_ ," Zelda says directly and takes a step to the side, away from the bathroom door.

"What? Don't you want me to ravish you with your family just down the hall?" she says and laughs when Zelda visibly flinches, "that's why you followed me in here isn't it?" she goes on angrily, "or was it because your got your feelings hurt yet again and wanted little old me to make you feel better?"

"Whatever you think, I am _not_ having this conversation with you."

"You _never_ talk to me and _that's_ the problem," she says and has never been so tempted to reveal her true self. To show Zelda who exactly she's dealing with. 

" _This,_ isn't about talking, we _don't talk_ , we just-

" _fuck?_ ", Lilith interrupts her and smirks when Zelda grimaces.

"If you _have_ to use that vulgar term to understand then _yes_ , so just accept things for what they are,"

"Well come on then, let's get to it," she snarls.

"No, I-

"You _what_?" She interrupts for a second time, "you have nothing real to say or give, so let’s stick to our _arrangement_ as you like to call it."

Zelda remains mute and the lack of reaction is what boils her blood more than anything so without warning she grabs her wrists and rams her against the bathroom sink, she pushes her hard against the cold porcelain and digs her nails into thin wrists, her frustration outweighing any rationality, "why can't you just be honest with yourself for once?" she asks and squeezes so hard she's sure her nails will leave little marks on her skin.

She's met by and indignant tilt of her chin, and so she slams Zelda's back against the sink again making her groan in pain, "say something, fight me, show some sort of emotion!" She begs.

"You're hurting me," Zelda says plainly, her voice small and it reminds Lilith of how vulnerable she really was. Horrified she abruptly let's go of her wrists and backs away, she feels sick, something she hasn't felt forever. She watches as Zelda rubs her left wrist with her right hand and then repeats the action again, all the while looking at her sadly. 

+

 

She's not a smoker, the cigarette in her hand now is one from a pack she took out of Zelda's hand bag a few weeks ago with the purpose of winding her up. It's funny really, being who she was and not liking to smoke. But it had never appealed to Lilith, it was a mortal habit, and she was anything but. Of course in very rare occasions she would smoke, but it had been at least one hundred and two years since her last one, yet here she was taking a drag and then blowing the smoke into the air.

Right now it's something to occupy her hands while she waits for Faustus at his office, that's what she tells herself anyway, and not because the smell reminds her of Zelda who she hadn't seen or heard from since their encounter in the bathroom.

She leans against a book shelf as she waits, but it doesn't take long until she hears footsteps approaching. 

"Keeping me waiting again I see," she smoulders and grins when Faustus looks off guard for a moment, until his dark eyes pin point her location in the room. She drops the cigarette on the ground and stomps on it harder than necessary.

"I was busy," he says as he closes the door behind him, "doing as the Dark Lord bids, which is more than what you've been doing lately," he says smugly and it infuriates her enough to transport herself directly in front of him.

"How dare you! I am his right hand in the mortal realm and his Mistress of Darkness, you should remember who you speak to," she hisses and grabs at his throat angrily.

"Oh, but I do _Lilith_ ," he says smoothly and pulls away, "which is why I was surprised to find your attentions more inclined towards Zelda Spellman these days," he smirks, and moves around her towards his desk.

"I don't have to explain myself to you," she hisses and tries to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach.

"Not to me, but perhaps the Dark Lord would be interested, but then _who_ am I to judge, seeing as that particular apple is one I've taken a bite out of as well," he says.

"Meaning?"

"I think you know," he states more than anything, and makes a show of pulling out a pair of familiar French panties from a drawer in his desk and throwing them on top if it. She doesn't know whats more disturbing the fact he's kept them or that she recognises them immediately as Zelda's.

"Please don't tell me you think this revelation affects me in anyway _darling_?" she says after a brief quiet moment.

"Of course not, I just thought it was amusing, both of us being distracted by the same thing."

"I'm not distracted, and whatever you think you know, it's over" she counters.

"Good, because it would be a shame, wouldn't it, if you fell out of favour with Satan himself over, what? Some Witch who has abandonment issues."

She swallows a lump in her throat, the fact that Faustus even knows that about Zelda makes her question whether her own relationship with her was anything special; but then dismisses the thought.

"Does she know who you really are?" he asks and motions for her to sit down as he pours brandy from a tumbler.

Lilith plops herself down on the chair unceremoniously, "no," she says as she reaches for the glass in front of her.

"I suppose that's for the best, now back to what actually matters here... Sabrina-

Faustus's voice dwindles off as Lilith keeps her mind on Zelda, and how utterly betrayed she feels; an emotion she hasn’t felt for centuries.

+

 

"If you've come to apologise don't waste your breath." Zelda's voice speaks causing Lilith to startle at the unexpected sound. She'd just shown up at the Spellmans when the front door had been ripped open before she even got to knock; which makes her wonder if Zelda had been waiting for her this entire time.

"Don't be so presumptuous, darling," responds tersely and shoots her a look of annoyance. She watches as the lines on Zelda's face etch deeper as if her answer had thrown her off guard. 

"In fact, I've not come to see _you_ at all, " she goes on and glances just behind Zelda, "I've come to see Sabrina, she said she needed my help," the last part is a lie, but she knows it's what will get to Zelda the most so uses it to hurt her.

The witch shifts slightly but her demeanour is as regal as ever, "Sabrina isn't here," she says quickly with an expression that gives nothing away.

"And where is she then?" Lilith asks with a crinkled brow.

"I think she mentioned something about going to see her mortal friends," Zelda replies causing Lilith's frown to deepen.

"Is that so?" she says and shoots her a suspicions look.

She's trying to remain neutral and ignore the feeling of betrayal in her gut she's had since speaking to Faustus. It worried her that she even cared about the fact that Zelda was sleeping with him, she was a demon, she shouldn't care about such trivial matters. Zelda was just a warm body to keep her company in this mortal realm, and that's what she had to keep telling herself to subdue the anger boiling away just beneath the surface. And even more, she knows that her own deception is far greater than Zelda's and that her hiding her true identity is a far more catastrophic lie; still she refuses to give in to her emotions.

"Come in and see for yourself if your don't believe me," Zelda counters and takes a step to the side and motions for her to enter, but Lilith just shakes her head.

"I believe you," she says and remains where she's standing. She wont go in because she doesn't trust herself.

"I'd like you to come in," Zelda clarifies which makes Lilith quirk her brow curiously.

"I'm not going to apologise, " she says.

"Why not?" 

In response Lilith reaches into her coat pocket and fishes out the panties Faustus had shown her earlier and hands them to Zelda.

Realisation dawns on the other other woman immediately and she quickly grabs the offending object, "we were never exclusive," Zelda says not bothering to try and cover anything up.

"I know," Lilith admits, "but _him_?"

Zelda doesn't say anything, she just looks away, and Lilith can tell she wants to cry. For someone who likes to pretend she is made of stone, Lilith had concluded that Zelda could shed tears over the slightest thing. She just sighs, "fine," and walks into the foyer leaving Zelda to close the door behind them.

The don't speak, they just go upstairs and have sex, but it's rough, quick and meaningless and as soon as they're both sated Lilith starts to get dressed with her back towards Zelda.

"Stay and talk to me," Zelda asks quietly from beneath burgundy sheets and Lilith halts for a moment but then just shakes her head and continues to button up her silk shirt. 

"No," she answers once she's done, then turns to look down at Zelda , "we don't talk, remember?" she says finally before getting up leaving Zelda alone; determined that she wouldn't make the same mistake again.


	6. Head Unbound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Head Unbound- Melissa Auf Der Maur'

She looks terrible, Hilda thinks as she observes her sister.

Zelda has new lines on her features, and the bags under her eyes and prominent and ugly. She knows she's drinking and smoking much more than normal, but that doesn't stop her from pouring her a glass of her favourite whisky and placing it down on the table next to her. Zelda wasn't someone you could easily deny, not even if it was in her best interest and Hilda as much as she loved her was also wary of her. Her violent tendencies were not to be taken lightly and if it was a choice between the cane pit or submission, she knew which she would rather.

When they were younger Hilda had always been envious of Zelda, she was everything she wanted to be. Popular, confident and most of all beautiful; but nowadays she finds herself less jealous. She breaths but she doesn't seem entirely alive; Zelda reminds her of a ghost. But Hilda can't feel sorry for her anymore, Zelda was selfish and has always been more interested in her own ambition above all else, but she also had a side that was rarely seen; a caring and nutioring side that made Hilda almost burst with joy when _that_ Zelda made an appearance.

"Everything alright, Zelds?" She tries and winces when her sister glares at her.

"And why wouldn't it be?" Zelda retorts with a defiant tilt of her chin.

"No reason, you just seem quiet lately."

Zelda's fingers curl around the glass and she shakes her head before taking a sip. "Just because you feel the need for inane chatter constantly doesn't mean I do," she says, low and husky, "I prefer quiet contemplation from time to time."

"Is it to do with Ms. Wardwell?" Hilda asks ignoring her answer and momentarily regrets the question. The brief look of pain on Zelda's face is palpable; then turns to pure rage.

"Why would you ask me about _her?"_ she hisses with a frown.

Hilda can't help but roll her eyes, "I'm not stupid, Zelds, you're my sister and I know you better than anyone," she pauses and then blurts out, "you're sleeping with her aren't you?"

Zelda's already pale complexion goes even whiter, and her green eyes widen in panic, but Hilda goes on, "she's been here a few time alone with you and I've smelt her perfume on you plenty of times plus- _"enough_ ," Zelda interrupts, deep and threatening and Hilda darts her eyes around making sure any sharp objects are hidden away in case she's suddenly stabbed to death, _again_.

She waits for a biting remark but is met with silence, so Hilda watches her sister carefully and can't help but feel a pang of sorrow.

"I'm not going to pry, but you can't keep everything bottled up all of the time, it isn't healthy," Hilda says.

Zelda nods and takes a large sip of her drink then squares her shoulders, "nothing is going on," she denies and Hilda can't help but slump her shoulders defeatedly.

"If you say so," Hilda says, feeling as if anything she could say would be pointless, "I'm tired, I think I'm going to go to bed." She yawns.

"Good, I can finally sit and enjoy the silence at last," she sneers, back to form but refuses to look at her.

"Try and get some sleep tonight," Hilda says knowing more than anyone that Zelda was prone to insomnia at the best of times, "and if you can't you know where I am."

 

+

The air inside the kitchen is warm and calm, but her mind is anything but; tossing and turning over and over again. 

It's been at least a month since she had last seen Ms. Wardwell; the longest time they've been apart since everything had begun between them. No one seems to notice this, or maybe they just didn't care; either way not one member of her family has come to ask why the visits have suddenly stopped. Zelda had subtly tried to broach the subject with Sabrina after about a week, but her niece had just knitted her brows in confusion and said that she saw Ms. Wardwell almost everyday and that she still came over for tea sometimes. This had clarified for Zelda what she already feared that the other witch was purposely avoiding being near her.

The teaspoon in her hand scrapes at the bottom of a porcelain glass as she stirs the herbal tea inside. Zelda opens a cabinet and reaches for a bag of sugar, she doesn't bother with a spoon and just pours the white granules into her tea with one hand as she continues to stir.

It's just gone three in the morning, and as usual her insomnia is keeping her up. She had nearly knocked on the door of Hilda's new room, her sister was sweet, sickeningly so, and she knew that if she woke her up she would sit up with her just as she'd said the night before. It was the company Zelda craved more than anything, but as always her pride won over and she'd walked passed the door with a scowl. It was much easier when they shared a room, she could make a loud noise and pretend that she'd been asleep and awoke to the same sound then casually suggest they stay up until morning together. It was a well practised routine she'd used since childhood and she knew deep down that Hilda knew this but would never say anything; because unlike herself her sister wasn't malicious.

With a long and heavy sigh she taps the spoon on the side of the cup having opted for herbal tea rather than her usual whisky. Just because she was bored of it and not because Hilda’s worry over her made her feel guilty; at least that’s what she tells herself. 

She reaches into a nearby cabinet and rummages through it. Her fingers feel blindly until she finds one her lighters that she has scattered over the house and pulls it out. She already has a half smoked pack of cigarettes in the pocket of her silk dressing gown and puts the lighter in the same pocket before reaching for her cup of tea and striding towards the front door.

It's cold and crisp and still dark outside: just how Zelda likes it. Sitting down at her favourite seat on the patio she resides herself to another night of smoking to much and drinking tea that never tastes as good as when her sister makes it. 

She shivers, the dressing gown she's wearing over her night dress is not as practical as it is stylish. Her hair is perfectly coiffed in the same style she'd worn it the previous day but her face is bare of makeup.

She lights up her cigarette and inhales deeply, the smoke rolls out of her like fog. She is too old for this, wallowing alone feeling sorry for herself. Her body aches and she likens it to the soft noise the paper of her cigarette makes when her lips stick to it slightly. 

Her eyes focus on nothing in particular, she can barely make out the gravestones that surround the land of her home and the only noise she can here is the occasional brush of trees in the wind. She feels eerily somber, the hurt she'd felt had turned to anger, until it melted away into just confusion. Her guilt was replaced with suspicion, at first she thought it was her way of protecting herself from feeling anything at all, but then the more she thought about it the more things just didn't add up. 

If Mary Wardwell truly was an excommunicated witch then what business did she have being anywhere near Faustus; and why would he even indulge in any sort of communication with her. Hilda was black listed from the church, and he had made it plain that she was not welcomed anywhere near the grounds of The Academy.

Zelda puffs more smoke out and frowns as she contemplates this train of thought. She glances at her barely touched tea and wishes it was something stronger.

 

+

The next morning she's staring out of the kitchen window as she lights another cigarette. It’s a vice she's had since she was sixteen and right now it was something to occupy her hands.

"Sabrina?" A familiar voice calls out and Zelda exhales deeply, "your front door wasn't locked and , _oh _," the voice halts as it nears her and she can tell the person that's been on the forefront of her mind is standing somewhere behind her now, "it's you."__

“Why would it surprise you to find me here, this is after all _my_ home," Zelda says and takes a drag of her cigarette but doesn't turn around immediately.

“I just expected Sabrina, she said she'd meet me here.” Ms. Wardwell explains.

Zelda slowly tips a shoulder back to look back over it at her, "well as you can see she isn't," she says evenly, "so I suppose you can just leave."

“That sounds more like a question than a demand.” Ms. Wardwell says and Zelda has to resist the sudden urge to flick her cigarette in her direction.

“It wasn't,” she retorts, blowing out and stuffing out her cigarette on an ashtray near by, before pulling out another one from the packet and lighting it. “It wasn’t what? A question or demand?” Ms. Wardwell asks, and Zelda grinds her teeth. “ _Stop it_ ” she replies while counting to ten in her head expecting another retort dripping with sarcasm and amusement. 

“I’m sorry,” she says softly instead and moves towards Zelda, close enough behind her to reach out and touch the back of her arm gently. “For everything.” 

This makes Zelda laugh bitterly and moves away from the brunette until there's plenty of space between them again, “I am not some toy you get to play with whenever it suits you," she snaps, "whatever game this is I want no further participation in it."

Ms. Wardwell sighs but makes no further attempt to bridge the gap between them, “You’re not ,” she agrees, “and this isn’t a game, not anymore anyway,” she says surprisingly kind and sincere. 

Frowning Zelda takes another drag and then puffs the smoke out of her lungs once again, "then what do you want from me ?" she asks in disbelief.

"I thought that was fairly obvious," she says resorting back to her flirtatious nature with a smirk and Zelda damns herself for blushing like a school girl.

" _Mary..._ " She sighs heavily, unwilling to play along or even argue with her and shakes her head.

A shadow crosses over Ms. Wardwell's expression, so quickly that Zelda isn't sure she saw it at all, " _don't_ call me that," she hisses and Zelda frowns and takes another drag of her cigarette.

"It's you're name isn't it?" She scoffs sarcastically.

Ms. Wardwell's usual air of confidence seems to vanish, her blazer clad shoulders square, slightly, but it's all a show and she can see through it.

"Look, I didn't come here to argue with you," she says and it doesn't sound like her.

"No you came to see my niece," she replies quickly then stumps out her cigarette. Without anything to occupy her hands she feels strange, so claps them tightly together at her front.

"I did, but I'm glad you were here," Ms. Wardwell says and gives her a gentle unreal smile.

"Why? Did you have an itch to scratch and thought I'd invite you back into my bed just like that?" she sneers, "because if that's the case, forget it."

Ms. Wardwells hands clench and un clench into fists at her side, as if she's trying to remain calm. The vein on her forehead gives away her rage though and Zelda takes a small step back. She expects an argument, or maybe for things to get physical, but what happens is simple. Ms. Wardwell calmly walks around the table and towards the door. It happens so quickly that Zelda blinks a few times to make sure it happened.

Then she follows the brunette as quickly as her jimmy choo heels will allow her, and once she's close enough she yanks her back by her upper arm, "if you walk away from me again, I'll never speak to you again." She says.

"You don't speak to me anyway," Ms. Wardwell rebuffs but doesn't try to free herself.

"Fine I'll tell you everything, I'll tell you _anything_ you want to know but you have to be honest with me as well," she says feeling more vulnerable than she's done in years. 

This gets Ms. Wardwell to shift and try and move a bit, but Zelda refuses to let go, "you know it all." She says darkly and finally free's her arm, Zelda willingly lets go this time.

"You're lying," she says bluntly.

Ms. Wardwell crosses her arms and narrows her eyes, "about?" 

"You are not all that you seem," she accuses. 

"None of us are what we seem," Ms. Wardwell replies and Zelda rolls her eyes.

"Spare me your cryptic play with words, I've never trusted you and now I'm close to figuring out exactly what you _really_ from Sabrina," she says before adding, "and from me, so you might as well be honest."

"Believe what you want," Ms. Wardwell growls in and unsteady tone.

"I believe you're a liar and that you don't care about anyone but yourself," she snaps back.

"Careful, Zelda, I told you long ago not to cross me," Ms. Wardwell fires back but doesn't move.

"Tell me the truth," Zelda insists and tries to urge the other woman with her eyes to be honest. "There's ways I could make you tell me, but I'd rather you do so willingly," she says and thinks she's getting through to her until she's violently pushed away.

"Don't ever threaten me!" Ms. Wardwell shouts angrily.

"That was _not_ a threat," Zelda shouts back at her.

"and as for the truth, you couldn't handle it, _darling_."

"Yes I could! I-" she falters and brushes back her hair from her face, " _I want_ to know."

Ms. Wardwell simply turns her face away, "if you knew it would ruin everything."

"Like it's not ruined already."

"I don't just mean _us_ I mean _everything_."

"Unless you haven't noticed _everything_ is a mess anyway."

"You're repeating yourself," she says and Zelda can see enough of Ms. Wardwell's profile to tell she's smirking at least.

"I'm sorry," Zelda says, "for being closed off all of the time, for saying hurtful things, for _Faustus._ "

"Stop." The brunette says as she raises a hand and closes her eyes.

The silence is heavy between the both of them and Zelda doesn't know what else to say. She's never been good at showing emotion, for expressing herself clearly; for being open.

"I never expected for this to happen," Ms. Wardwell finally lets out, " for my feelings about you to run so deep," she admits her voice rough and her eyes glistening when she finally turns back to look at her.

Zelda imagines her own expression probably mirrors hers and it frightens her to be so exposed.

"I did lie," she says in a small voice, "but everything I do is for Satan, as I am his most loyal servant."

Zelda holds her breath and watches but Ms. Wardwell's perfect posture doesn't reveal anything, until finally she speaks again.

"because my real name is Lilith, " she says, just like that. 

The sound that comes out of Zelda isn't natural, everything inside of her turns cold and every little thing starts to fall into place.

 _She knew exactly who and what Lilith was_ ; as did any self respecting witch.

Ms. Wardwell or, _no_ , _**Lilith**_ reaches forward and takes both her hands in her own, "please say something." She begs, “ the only person I’ve ever trusted like this is Satan himself.” 

But it's to raw, to soon, and Zelda actually laughs, because it’s too much for her to take in. She feels a mixture of emotions, horrified, embarrassed, angry and even the tiniest bit proud until she begins to doubt everything, "this is a joke," she says, "you're making fun of me."

Ms. Wardwell's shoulders slack, and she let's go of Zelda's hands and she pinches the bride of her nose, "no I'm not," she sighs, "it's the truth, you can ask Faustus if you don't believe me or I could," she falters, then sighs heavily again and drops her hand away from her face, "or I could _show_ you who I really am myself."

Zelda frowns, "Faustus knows? But why would he..." she trails off until realisation dawns on her, "this is about Sabrina isn't it?" she asks and feels the fury building up inside her again. Ms. Wardwell's silence is clarification and within a second she has the brunette pushed up against a wall by her throat, " _what_ are you planing to do with Sabrina?" she spits angrily, every part of her maternal instincts are kicked into overdrive and all she wants to do is protect her niece.

"Something that even _you_ couldn't comprehend," she says, then violently pushes Zelda away with strength no witch or mortal could ever posses, "I told you a long time ago that Sabrina is my priority here, not you and not even my own feelings," she goes on with a hint of regret in her tone, "I'm sorry," she finishes and before Zelda can question her further, everything just goes black.


	7. Something I Can Never Have

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Something I Can Never Have’ - Nine Inch Nails.

It doesn't really hit Lilith; the implications on her decision, not until they are face to face again. 

And there's nothing.

No glimmer of recognition or anything to say that Zelda remembers anything before that day she'd accompanied Sabrina home with a take out meal.

Instead of the subtle warmth that had been slowly growing more and more in her green eyes, she was met with total indifference; and it hurt her more than the hatred ever did. 

There was no way she could let Zelda retain her memory of who she really was, and there was certainly no way she could carry on being with the witch on an intimate level. Either way it was all ruined, just as she'd known deep down it would be. It was foolish of her to indulge in what they had become in the first place. The whole thing was doomed from the very beginning; but she’d chosen to ignore that fact. Taking away Zelda's memories of the past few months was not an easy decision; selfishly she didn't want to do it. But her loyalty to The Dark Lord was to strong a bong to tarnish over something as trivial as _feelings_ ; at least that’s what she keeps telling herself. He was the one who'd been her saviour when the false God had cast her out of Eden for refusing to be subservient to Adam. And it was something she would be eternally grateful for; even if it meant sacrificing the temporary happiness she had found with Zelda.

She also wishes she hadn’t let Faustus’s words get to her but at the same time she was relieved. For without her reaction to knowing about his relationship with Zelda she would of carried on developing more feelings for the witch.

And that was simply out of the question.

"So yeah, I guess that's it," Sabrina says and Lilith snaps her attention back to the teenager sitting opposite to her. Like her Aunt, Lilith had wiped away her memory of their interactions over the past months as well, in fact the entire Spellman clan had been cursed by her as a precaution. Like clean slates, so she could carry on with her original mission.

They are sitting together at a table in the bookstore, and Lilith has to keep reminding herself to pay attention to the blonde opposite her and not the Auburn haired witch who's at the counter speaking with her sister. Sabrina had explained that her Aunt would be picking her up today because they had plans, so Lilith had been sat waiting in anticipation for her arrival. Each time someone had walked in through the door she had help her breath and sagged disappointingly when it wasn't Zelda; until it was. 

But the second she had walked in and their eyes had met Lilith's heart had shattered into a thousand pieces. The witch barely cast a glance in her her direction before turning towards the counter to see her sister. There wasn't even animosity, just emptiness, as if Zelda had looked straight through her like she wasn't there.

That had been five minutes ago, "your Aunt is here, Sabrina," she says quietly and watches as Sabrina glances over her shoulder, "oh, right, yeah," she says and begins to collect the books she'd been going over with her. "I'm sorry again we have to cut this short," Sabrina apologises, "it's just Auntie Zee can be sort of strict when it comes to schedules," she says then grins, "but we haven't hung out just the two of us for a while either."

This makes Lilith smile, "I suppose you should hurry up then," she says, knowing how precious Sabrina was to the older witch. She was glad in a way that because of her erasing their memories and not getting herself involved with Zelda again it had meant Sabrina spent more time with her, and Hilda; even if it wasn't part of the plan.

"Don't fret on my account," a husky voice interrupts and Lilith can't do anything expect gawp up at the woman standing over her next to the table. She's back in her tailored emerald green coat with black fur trim along the shoulders, and Zelda's hair is pinned up elaborately on the top of her head with not a hair out of place.

She looks pristine.

"I don't fret about anything, darling," Lilith quips back just because it's natural to her and right now she feels like she's on auto pilot.

Zelda frowns and looks down her nose at her, "I was addressing my niece, Ms. Wardwell," she replies evenly, then turns back to Sabrina, "I mean it, you don't have to hurry if you're not ready," she says gently.

"It's okay Auntie we're done here anyway," she says as she finishes packing up her things into a rucksack.

Zelda nods and claps her hands at her front, a stance so familiar it makes Lilith want to cry, but of course she doesn't.

"I trust you've been keeping my niece out of trouble Ms.Wardwell," Zelda says smoothly as a means of feigned small talk. Lilith can easily hear the threat behind her causal words.

"I think she's the one that's been keeping me out of trouble," she answers sarcastically, which earns another nod from Zelda but nothing else. Her face if void of any emotion, her eyes cold and distant; they are strangers once again.

"See you soon then, " Sabrinba says as she scoots from behind the table and towards Zelda who places a hand on her back and smiles.

They both turn to leave and for some reason Lilith can't stand it so she dramatically shouts back, "wait!" 

Both Spellman witches turn back in confusion, and Lilith doesn't know what to say; she just stares up at them her eyes darting between the two of them.

"Well? What is it?" Zelds asks impatiently with a raised brow and places a hand on one of her hips.

"Do you know, I can't remember," she replies dumbly and tries to laugh it off, "maybe I'm going mad," she says which earns a scornful look from Zelda but a concerned one from Sabrina.

"Are you sure you're alright'?" she asks and Zelda huffs under her breath at this but Sabrina ignores her.

"Of course, you run along with you Aunt to, _erm_ , well where are you both going again?" she asks.

"That is none of your business," Zelda says as she tries to usher Sabrina away, "come along dear, it's already starting to get dark."

Once again Sabrina just ignores her and smiles brightly at Ms. Wardwell, "we're going to try and see this weird myth that only me and Aunte Zee know about," she says proudly and Lilith watches as Zedla's cheeks redden slightly, but can’t help smiling back at her niece.

"It's a phenomenon, not a myth,” she corrects, “one myself and Sabrina have been blessed by Satan to witness a handful of times" she says curtly, "and we're definitely not going to see anything unless we hurry."

Sabrina shakes her head, "it's more of like a hobby, you know like when mortals look for ufo's, me an Auntie Zee are basically dorks," she laughs and Zelda's face turns even more crimson. "I can asure you I am not," Zelda tries to sound severe but Lilith just finds her adorable.

"Whatever you say, Auntie Zee, " Sabrina jokes then links their arms together to leave, "see you around Ms. Wardwell."

But just as they get to the door Zelda turns to look over her shoulder at her and Lilth's heart stops beating for a second as a strange expression crosses over the witch's face. Lilith smiles sadly at her but then with a scowl from Zelda the moment is gone forever.

"You finished here, love?" Hilda asks as she comes over to collect the empty milkshake glasses on the table.

Lilith wipes away a stray tear and nods, "yes thank you," she says and passes the glasses over.

In one swift motion she gets up, "do you need any help?" she asks but Hilda just shakes her head, "nope, I'm okay but you look as pale as a sheet!" she exclaims, "are you sure _you're_ alright?"

"I'm just tired," she lies and walks away from the table with the blonde witch.

"Ah- okay then," she says and round the counter to put down the cups, "well you won't be as tired as Zelda and Sabrina when they get back to the house later, I can tell you that," she giggles, "honestly those two fight like cat and dog but they are two peas in a pod deep down."

"Sabrina mentioned something but didn't say exactly what they were doing," Lilith says as she puts her leather jacket on over her shoulders.

"Just a silly nighttime story that Zelda used to tell Sabrina when she was little, which has turned into an annual hobby this time of year for them," she explains as she wipes at the counter top.

"Which is?" Lilith asks.

"Looking for something they call the lavender moon," she says and makes quotation makes in the air with her hands followed by another bout of giggles.

Lilith smiles but it doesn't really reach her eyes. She bows her head and wishes Hilda a good night and then leaves into the darkness; knowing all that could of been but never was.

It was all forgotten; it wasn’t real anymore.

And that was the curse Lilith would have to live with for eternity.


	8. The Pretty Lies, The Ugly Truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are there any fellow CAOS fans going to be at Wrexham comic con? I'll be there on the Sunday!

_The wasted years, the wasted youth,_  
**the pretty lies, the ugly truth.**  
_And the day has come where I have died,  
Only to find I've come alive._\- Teen Idle- Marina And The Diamonds.

 

+

 _This_ is a mistake.

One that Lilith had promised herself she wouldn't make again; but here she was. Once again she was ignoring the reality of her actions in favour of something else. It was all so dissociating and blinding _and_ confusing. She had tried to stay away from it; the pull towards the eldest Spellman. But although she had erased her memories of everything she still found herself planting herself in the auburn haired witch's orbit. Their little game of cat and mouse was back in action, and Lilith knew she could easily find her way back into Zelda's bed if she wanted, and _oh_ how she desperately wanted to. She missed everything about her, the smell of cigarette smoke mixed with expensive perfume that lingered whenever she was near , the tiny mole on the side of her temple that she was secretly self conscious about, the way her husky voice would go down an octave when she was close to an orgasm.

Maybe she was a masochist, she had to be for putting herself so dangerously close to the chaos she had only _just_ managed to put an end to.

"What do you want the most?" She blurts out from the shadows, causing Zelda who had been idly sitting in the sun with her favourite pair of vintage sunglasses on and smoking a cigarette, to startle. 

The question is soft and gentle; everything she is not.

After her initial shock Zelda eases back into her chair and takes a drag of her cigarette, she gives nothing away and Lilith wishes she could see her eyes.

"Sabrina isn't in," she replies clearly annoyed and ignores the question she'd just asked, "and I'm in no mood for a conversation with you today." She finishes with a wave of her hand as if to dismiss the brunette.

Lilith straightens her spine and crosses her arms as Zelda goes back to just sitting there like a queen, appearing as put together as ever. It irritates her more than anything, knowing that this is only a mask that Zelda wears; and her true self is anything but the well polished person in front of her.

Without a word of warning and ignoring all rationality Lilith steps forward and reaches down to wrap her fingers around one of Zelda's wrists. She feels the pulse there, actual proof that Zelda is flesh and blood and _real._

"What in Sata-

She shrieks but stops when Lilith allows the cloud of ignorance to be lifted; and the spell blocking her memories to break in one agonising second. The electricity of magic swirls around them, until it stops but Lilith doesn't let go.

" _You._.." Zelda murmurs quietly then snatches her wrist away and stands up. Her eyes are still hidden behind dark shades but Lilith is sure she's wild eyed and angry.

"Yes, it's _me,_ " she says swallowing a lump in her throat.

Zelda shakes her head, "you, you erased my memories," she stutters as she pieces back together the past few months with a frown and places a hand to her temple, then finally takes off the sunglasses, "why?"

Lilith frowns at this, " you _know_ why, I couldn't let you compromise me or what I need to do," she answers and shifts her weight from one foot to the other.

"Then why have you returned them to me now?" Zelda asks getting straight to the point, old habits and all that.

"Because I..." she falters, not something she's used to. Instead of being truthful she falls back to what's comfortable, avoidance, " _because_ I've also erased your family's memories, so even if you try to expose me, they won't believe you," she says.

Zelda's eyes narrow, but there's also a flash of hurt there, as if she knows that Lilith is right. Still she refuses to be pushed into the corner, "but _why_?" She repeats, “when it would of been cleverer to keep me permanently oblivious as well." She counters, "you know this doesn't change anything and I won't let you do whatever it is you were sent to do."

Lilith smiles at this and takes a step forward, "exactly I like the challenge," she admits, "plus I know you still want me, maybe even more now that you know who I really am," she purrs smoothly and finds it exhilarating when she catches Zelda's eyes dart down towards her lips then back up again. “And now I’ve given you a small taste of what I’m capable of.”

"If you think my sexual desires come before my family's well being then you truly don't know me," Zelda bites back and Lilith is sure her green eyes have grown darker since the beginning of this conversation. “And a twelve year old witch could erase someone’s memories, it’s childs play, worst of all its cowardly.”

"So you don't deny your feelings for me then?" Lilith goes on and licks her bottom lip, choosing to ignore her comment about being a coward. That could wait until another day, now she had more pressing matters at hand. For example the way Zelda was looking at her with a mixture of desire and loathing was utterly intoxicating and made her feel weak at the knees.

"You presume this knowledge gives you some kind of upper hand?" Zelda laughs bitterly and matches Lilith's step forward, clearly unaffected by her play for dominance, "trust me dear, whatever game you are playing I have mastered a thousand times over, so let's just get to the point, what's your endgame?" she practically growls.

"My endgame right now is to be with you again, and make you the High Priestess this coven deserves, Zelda," she admits as bluntly as she can. The inner workings of her mind had been debating this for a while now, all she needed was The Dark Lord's blessing; and that was easily enough done if she was successful in her task, "and make you see that my work for Satan will benefit Sabrina in the end, and someone as devout as yourself should understand."

"You may be the Mother of Demons, but you understand nothing about truly being maternal," Zelda spits, "I _love_ Sabrina more than any title you claim you can give me, and more than some elaborate plan you may think benefits her."

Lilith laughs out loud to this reply, partially because she doesn't believe her and also to goad her.

"You are not Sabrina's mother," Lilith reminds her, and almost feels bad when she see's the colour drain from Zelda's already pale face.

"Even so," she says and bridges the gap between them until they are toe to toe, "you and everyone else who would manipulate my niece will have to get through me first."

Instinctively Lilith reaches forward, and her fingers barely brush the velvet fabric of Zelda's dress before she rips her arm away as if she'd been burned, "no," she hisses, "you don't get to manipulate me anymore either."

A thought occurs to Lilith, "I could just kill you," she simply says as if she was remarking about the weather.

Zelda just stands there expressionless, until she nods, "then kill me," she says, "but trust me I will crawl back from the darkest, deepest pit of hell to protect my family." There's a long silence and Lilith feels Zelda's words hit her deep within, "because that's what a real mother does, now _get_ off of _my_ property, and tell Satan that he nor anyone else get's to decide Sabrina's fate."

"If you'd only listen," Lilith tries, feeling out of her depth and not being used to the one begging.

"You'll tell me the truth?" Zelda mocks cruelly, "you lied about everything then you took away my memories without my consent and you threatened to kill me," she lists which makes Lilith wince, "I admit my feelings are clouded by what we _had_ , but it wasn't real, _you're_ not real."

"I am real and what we had," Lilith shakes her head, "what we _have_ is real, you don't realise the power and status I can give you" she tries.

"Everyone thinks I'm controlled by my ambition, but I'd rather you kill me than make me your concubine," Zelda breathes, "because what I want more than anything is my family to be happy and safe," she says answering Lilith's earlier question before turning towards the front door.

She simply watches as Zelda seems to take another deep breath and open the front door to hide behind the walls of her home.

Lilith can barely comprehend the situation; but she finds herself unburdened.

Erasing Zelda's memory may of been in her best interest but being forgotten was far worse than being hated.

At least now she had a chance at redemption; or so she hopes. 

+

 

The sting of the whip makes Zelda's eyes water; but she cannot stop.

It's funny to her how doing this to herself was always far more painful than when Faustus did it. Perhaps she is far harsher at inflicting punishment to herself than any anyone else.

She revels in the way each whip to her back re opens old scars as well as creates new ones. And bites down hard on her bottom lip when she feels the blood drop down onto the tiled bathroom floor.

After the humiliation of being caught by Hilda, she now locks herself here to avoid further accidental exposure. Her sister didn't understand; she needed this. It was her catharsis, her way of letting go. Of exorcising the demons that haunted her thoughts.

Each fresh scar was a release and the pain was only secondary to how free she feels.

_Edwards death._ **whip.** _Her guilt of keeping Hilda trapped in this secluded hell with her._ **whip.** _Her failure of being a real mother to anyone let alone Sabrina._ **whip.** _Her weakness when it came to allowing Faustus to use her like a doll._ **whip.** _The way she felt about Lilith._ **whip.**

It was all a mess, but once she was done she knew she would feel lighter, even if it was only temporary.

"Aunt Zelda?” Sabrina’s familiar voice makes her pause and she scans over the door to make sure it’s still locked. 

“Yes Sabrina?” She calls back her tone slightly strained.

“You’ve been in there a while I was just making sure everything’s okay.” She explains and Zelda’s heart swells in her chest. Of course Sabrina is checking up on her, she was brought up to be kind and considerate and Zelda couldn’t be prouder of her. 

“I’ll be out in a moment, I was,” she stops and tries to think of an excuse for her length of time in the bathroom, “I was just having a bath,” she lies and makes a mental note to wet her hair before leaving.

“Oh, okay,” Sabrina replies uncertainly, “when you come down can you help me with some spells I need for a class?” She asks.

“Is your Aunt Hilda not available?”

“Well urm yeah she is but I want _your_ help with this.” Sabrina says and every self deprecating thought about herself lifts from Zelda like smoke. Being needed by Sabrina was far and few between these days; but it’s what makes her happiest above all else in this wretched world.

“I'll be down in a few minutes then, we can work on it in the kitchen," she says barely able to contain her joy. She hears Sabrina walk away from the door and her shoulders slump. Wincing she pulls up her dress and manages to zip it up at the side. It's agony, and being sat in one of the kitchens hard chairs for hours is the last thing her aching back needs right now; but she'll take the pain if it means being there for Sabrina.


	9. Some Things Never Sleep.

And my love is no good  
Against the fortress that it made of you  
Blood is running deep  
Sorrow that you keep.

Suddenly I'm overcome  
Dissolving like the setting sun  
Like a boat into oblivion  
Cause you're driving me away .  
________________________

Nothing happens for a long stretch of time.

No accusations, no catharsis, _nothing._

Not even when she meets with Sabrina at the bookstore and happens to bump into Zelda who was chatting animatedly with her sister. She didn't spare her a second glance; it would seem her confession had meant nothing.

So when a knock sounds on her door, Lilith is suddenly caught off guard to find Zelda standing there in her haut couture fur coat and as put together as ever without a hair out of place. Lilith feels her heart drop down into her stomach; there's something frightening about how calm Zelda seems, and she wasn't accustomed to being the one feeling nervous. 

"This needs to end," Zelda announces dramatically without any context, and Lilith can't help but smirk at the theatrics; it was Zelda all over.

"Now that could mean anything," Lilith replies as she leans against the door frame and crosses her bare arms. She's wearing a grey pencil dress with cut sleeves at her upper arms having discarded the matching blazer after returning home earlier that day . "Use your words, darling, if you can manage it," she goes on patronisingly.

Zelda's eyes flash dangerously, "you know what I mean," she hisses, " _you_ have to do something because I can't," she says and Lilith is surprised to hear her voice tremble slightly.

"I've laid my cards out on the table," she says with a raised brow and finds herself almost feeling sorry at the way Zelda is looking at her. She can tell that she'd worked herself up to come here and face her and with each passing second her resolve was breaking. What surprises her is how it's not nearly as satisfying as it ought to be; watching the formidable Zelda Spellman crack.

"You've put me in an impossible situation," she goes on and shifts her weight from one foot to another, "you might as well of left me oblivious, or kill me like you said you would."

"I could still erase your memories," Lilith lies because there was no way she'd ever do that again. Not because she didn't want to do that to Zelda but for her own selfish reasons. She had learned that being forgotten by Zelda was far worse than being hated by her. "And killing you was _never_ really an option," she says without elaborating further.

Zelda shakes her head sadly, "I've always been so sure of everything, now you've come along and ruined any semblance of control I thought I had," she says and looks away.

"And what exactly has changed? Because from where I'm standing things could only get better," Lilith says placidly, "you are probably the most devout witch I've ever come across, are you not pleased by everything you've discovered?" She asks.

Zelda keeps looking away but chuckles bitterly under her breath, "I am not so devout as to put my nieces future in jeopardy."

Lilith rolls her eyes, "but her future is not in jeopardy," she says and takes a step forward. With a tentative hand she reaches to find Zelda's and is both surprised and overjoyed when she lets her hold it, "everything will be better than you ever imagined," she says with a smile.

"It will," Zelda says and squeezes Lilith's hand for a second with her own, "if you stop all of this, if you just leave it."

The rage that she's learned to live with abates for the time being, but she can feel it's claws hooking around her soul; or whatever was left of it anyway. "The Dark Lord would never allow it," she presses, "the mere fact that you've asked such a thing could get you excommunicated just like your sister."

"I'm beginning to think that may not be a bad thing," Zelda sighs and let's the soft pad of her thumb stroke the back of Lilith's hand, it makes the demon shiver.

"You don't mean that, you're just feeling sorry for yourself," Lilith counters and lifts her chin, "stop thinking so much." She says and uses her other hand to twirl soft tendrils of auburn hair around her finger, marvelling in the texture.

"How do I do that?" Zelda whispers as a lone tear drops from a moss green iris.

Lilith doesn't say anything she just leans forward to close the gap between them and kisses Zelda softly. At first she get's no reaction, and she thinks she will be pushed away, but then she feels Zelda's mouth open and slips her tongue in to deepen the kiss.

It's not until they both need air do they pull apart, and rest against each other's foreheads. There's a long silence, until Zelda finally breaks it, "okay then, I'll stop thinking for a while," she says and Lilith marvels at the way she conjures up a smile out of thin air. She nods and pulls Zelda into the quaint cottage; all to aware that this temporary revive was just that _temporary_. And that Zelda who's emotions changed like the weather wouldn't allow herself to be so reckless forever.

But for now she wasn't going to dwell on it.

 

+

 

"Does it hurt?" Lilith asks into the darkness of the room and watches as Zelda's back muscles tense at the question.

It was dark now, and they were both spent lying on her bed. Lilith had expected Zelda to leave as soon as they were done and the haze of ecstasy was turned into regret. Instead though she's simply turned on her side with the blanket pooled around her waist with her back towards Lilith.

She has seen the scars before, but she's sure there are more since the last time they had been together like this. With the moonlight shining in through the window Lilith finds herself fascinated by the criss crossed raised skin, she wants to feel them underneath her fingers but doesn't move. 

"No," Zelda answers gruffly, her face pressed into the pillow.

"Liar," Lilith counters and earns an indignant huff from the wicth next to her who finally turns and flops herself onto her back only wincing slightly.

"My back is the least of our worries," she says as she scrutinises the ceiling above them with a frown. 

Lilith wants to tell Zelda that she does worry about her, but bites her tongue at the last second, instead she just repeats, "Our?" 

Zelda takes a deep breath then turns her head to look at her and Lilith can't help but find this Zelda her favourite Zelda; content and covered in a sheen of sweat, makeup all over the place and her usually coiffed hair a mess on the pillow. 

As much as she loves haughty witch bitch Zelda, intelligent power suit Zelda , soft maternal Zelda and all the other variations of her that she hides from the world; this _was_ her favourite; because it was all for her.

"I can't pretend anymore that this is meaningless," she says breaking Lilith's train of thought.

She scoots closer beneath the covers and places a hand around the curve of Zelda's waist, "neither can I," she admits, "but I can't just ignore The Dark Lord's wishes."

"And I have to protect Sabrina," Zelda says quickly.

They both look at each other sadly, neither wanting to acknowledge that everything between them was doomed no matter what.

"I want to trust you," Zelda goes on, "you're Lilith and I should be honoured that you'd even, well you know," she trails off but her words make Lilith's stomach churn.

"And what if I was still just plain Ms. Wardwell?" she asks.

"Ms. Wardwell was never plain and my feelings would not be any different," Zelda says smiling faintly.

Lilith is just about to reply when there's a loud noise in the other room, she immediately sits up, knowing all to well what that sound signified.

Zelda barely sits up herself, "what's- she starts to say but is interrupted before she can finish.

"Shh," Lilith hisses as she feels around blindly for her clothes, "just stay in here and be quiet."


	10. Six Feet Under

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the longest delay ever! I have been super busy, but here it is the final chapter! Also I'm still on a high from meeting Miranda, Michelle and Lucy over the weekend! They were all super sweet and I'm so happy! I've posted photos on my tumblr and instagram of the day!

Our love is six feet under  
I can't help but wonder  
If our grave was watered by the rain  
Would roses bloom? - billie eilish

 

________________________

“She’s a distraction,” the Dark Lord announces without any preamble. Lilith can’t help but glance over her shoulder towards the room she’d just left Zelda in. The air around her stunk of decay and death; Lilith feels herself gag on the potent stench that always lingers when _he_ is near. 

“Who?” She quips back feigning ignorance as she turns back to face her Master. 

It was clearly the wrong decision as the room begins to shake, instinct kicks in and she dives onto her knees in front of the Goat like creature she’d once adored beyond anything else. She kisses the hooves he now has for feet, and prays it’s enough to pacify his mood. 

“Do I have to get rid of her, Lilith?” He asks but it sounds more like a demand, “or can I at least trust you to clean up your own mess?”

Lilith takes a deep breath before looking up at him, and tries to fight back the tears that threaten to fall. “But surely if anything were to happen to Sabrina’s Aunt, she would never -

The kick is fast and unexpected and Lilith doesn’t register any pain until she hurtles back and hits a nearby chair. For a moment she’s just dazed, then feels something hot and sticky on her temple. She raises a shaky hand to her head and when she draws back is met with the sight of her own blood. 

“You do not question my demands, Lilith,” The Dark Lord snarls as he observes her crumpled form, “you follow them obediently, or are you no longer my most faithful servant, have you forgotten all that I have done for this you? If it weren’t for me you’d of been left to rot and wander the outskirts of Eden forever."

She wants to scream at him that if it weren't for her he would of also been doomed. And she had always been loyal to him since the day she came across his fallen form; with the promise of one day being his queen. And it was all for nothing, to be replaced by a younger and more attractive witch who had done nothing to earn such a title. And still she did his bidding, despite her broken heart.

Lilith doesn't move though, instead she just nods sadly; there was nothing else she could do. She was damned if she did and damned if she didn't.

This seems to pacify The Dark Lord, and without a word of warning he dissapears once again.

Finally alone Lilith can't help but gasp loudly, her bleeding temple mixed with the panic swiring within her making it hard to breathe. She clutches at her chest, closes her eyes and curls up into the fetal position on the ground; and for the first time in a long time she sobs at the futility of her situation.

It's not until she feels warm hands on her back and shoulder that she remembers Zelda had been hiding in the bedroom. Lilith doesn't move, but her sobs subside into quiet sniffling as one of Zelda's hands reaches for the deep abrasion on her skin. She winces at first and tries to move away, but Zelda who's dropped down on her knees next to her keeps a strong yet gentle grip on her. She delicately pushes back strands of brunette hair away and Lilith finally looks at her. The concern and pity mixed together makes her uncomfortable so she tries to swat Zelda's hands away from her.

"I'm not a child," she hisses, but it comes out far weaker than she would of liked. In any case Zelda ignores the comment. 

"Can you stand up?" she asks quietly.

The implications of her words made Lilith angry, and her eyes widen in sheer outrage, "do you think this is the first time this has happened? I can take care of myself." She states defiantly. 

Zelda frowns and considers her words for a moment before tutting under her breath and reaching forward so she can place one of Lilith's arms around her shoulder, " even so, I'm not just going to leave you on the ground like this."

Lilith has a retort on the tip of her tongue, but remains silent as she let's Zelda help her get up in one fluid motion. "Where's your bathroom?" Zelda asks.

Lilith nods her head towards the door nearest to the bedroom, then allows Zelda to walk her towards it. Once inside Zelda helps her sit on the edge of the porcelain tub in there. For some reason Lilith simply allows it wordlessly and watches as Zelda turns on the hot water tap and the tub begins to fill.

"How bad is it then?" Lilith enquiries with a small smile; she's been hurt worse in the past, but right now can’t stand the silence.

Zelda turns towards her with her hands on her hips, and asses the damage accurately before giving an answer, "it's not deep but if you were mortal it would scar."

Lilith sighs softly. She had assumed as much, but it was still disheartening to hear that her master could hurt her like that. Most of her scars were emotional, because Lilith had always been able to keep her body looking pristine with magic; just as all witches did.

Zelda finds a face cloth and dips it into the rising water, then delicately slides it across the wound on her temple. Lilith shivers and it makes Zelda pause, "am I hurting you?"

Lilith merely shakes her head, finding that her voice didn’t seem to work when she focused far too much attention on the comforting nature of Zelda's hands on her. While the witch cleansed her injury, her other hand had found its place on Lilith's hip, her thumb making small circular patterns against her through her clothes. Zelda touched her as though she was something important, something to be handled with the upmost respect and care. It was unlike anyone had touched her before.

"I never would of guessed nursing the injured as one of your talents," Lilith snipes, wanting to establish some distance between them.

Zelda's eyes narrow in annoyance and she clenches her jaw before speaking. "Sabrina was such a clumsy little girl, always scraping her knees or bumping into cabinets," she says all the while concentrating on soaking up and cleaning the blood on Lilith's face, "I admit it was Hilda who took on responsibility as primary care giver in such situations, and Sabrina wouldn't let anyone but my sister near her, but I would always watch then kiss her scrapped knees better once they were patched up."

Zelda shakes her head as if trying to forget the memory and moves to put her hands on her again, trying to help Lilith into the now filled bathtub, but she tries to move them off of her. She doesn’t want to be touched right now; it made her feel something she knew better than to analyse. “I can do it myself,” Lilith snaps, deciding that she hated the feeling of being coddled. She was just badly bruised, not some kind of Satan damned cripple.

“You know, I could of just left you here alone after hearing what The Dark Lord said," Zelda shouts as Lilith sheds her clothes off so she can get into the tub. 

"Then why didn't you?" she snarls once undressed and lowers herself into the warm water.

"Because I wanted to give you one last chance to explain," Zelda replies, lowering her voice once again and moves to lean against the sink. Lilith can tell from the way she's flexing her fingers she's desperate for a cigarette, and she even smiles when she see's the ends of Zelda's hair curl up from the humidity in the room.

Lilith purses her lips in annoyance but says nothing at first. She just needed some space after the disturbing amount of intimacy that passed between them. They were something to each other, yes, that much was undeniable at this point, but it didn't mean it was easy for Lilith to let someone in after decades of loneliness.

"Okay I'll tell you everything," she says as she grips the edge of the bathtub, "but you can't interrupt me, just _listen_."

 

+

 

After, as the sun was dipping below the horizon, Zelda reaches over Lilith and clicks off the bedside lamp. She shifts slightly, resting her head on the brunette's shoulder, in the crook of her neck, pressing kisses against her collarbone and throat. Lilith's fingers traced patterns against her back, down her sides, she was ticklish in that one spot that Lilith recalled, just below her ribs, and Zelda squirms against her when red fingernails rake lightly over the skin there. Zelda reaches down and tugs the covers over them, lacing their legs together. "Comfortable?" she asks.

"Mm," was all Lilith said. Her bare skin against Zelda's felt soft, her body nearly electric and her breath warm and steadying. "We were always good at this, weren't we?"

"Yes, well. This was never the problem," Zelda agrees wistfully as she takes in a deep breath. "How's the head?" She goes on to ask and unconsciously tightens her grip around Lilith's form.

"It's fine," she answers as she places a soft kiss on the top of Zelda's head. "So what happens now?" she asks, feeling as though a weight had been lifted after telling Zelda all of The Dark Lord's plans when it came to Sabrina; and how she knew she would never be able to help him get what he wanted, not now, not ever again.

"Well tomorrow we tell my family _everything_ and then we face whatever comes next together." Zelda says and for the first time in a long time Lilith feels hopeful.

Everything would be okay as long as they had each other.


End file.
